slenes * dream

2008-10-25T18:10:00.002+08:00

i cant run away from my out-going personality ~

it all started with HSBC Tree Top Walk...

i juz wanted to go becuz Set jio mi ~ if not its saturday man so early okie ~

once i am there, i stayed quite quiet then it all begin...my out-going nature started shining as i felt so bored, every1 is so quiet...

then all of a sudden i made a preview...soon after i have known alot of people from my class o.0

well now i am called lao da by mei xin they all , dunno why...haha

officer by benjamin they all cuz they got something against officers...

soon they begin to call mi sir Poh which is started by MArk wong, lol

nowadays i am crazy over Assignment n stuff are keeping mi rather busy, okie not rather , is super damm busy...

now i hope i can get a good team for next term =D

i will jia you n fight !!!

the days without GF is so freeeeee , do i really want this to happen ?

2008-10-14T18:48:00.002+08:00

Roses are red, Luv is dead, Violet is blue, Assignment is due, Deadline is u to whom i will pursue

mad until compose a poem...lol

so many people from different countries...so many languages but all haf the same thinking...which is to get a Degree of Tourism in MDIS

so will anyone step up to unite the people together or we will juz let it flow ~
is that someone even needed ?

am i now that someone in the process ?

questions fly...around mi

maybe i juz wanted to document down the 2 years and juz share with the rest who has the common interest as mi ? document our uni life somewhere ? haha

Assignments are killing mi...

2008-09-23T22:43:00.002+08:00

wow 3 months plus since i update >.<

okie lets see

FINALLY I ORD , lol , ORD LOR !!!!!!

after i ORD, straight away go study , lol

currently doing tourism & hospitality management in MDIS

its hell lots of research >.<

and i agree wif louis , lol , i felt like a freaking foreigner here in sch in singapore !!! lol...

i met quite a number of people haha

i am the team leader of my group as they said i am an officer , now NS has taken its toll on me...

a leader of 3 vietnam friends , not easy !!! 1 myanmar friend , 1 singaporean

i am so stressed out...cuz i wanna do my best for the team in order not to let them down and yet i am feeling a little worried for them, a little low on motivation cuz still need to teach them how to present...

Being a Leader isnt easy however since i am entrusted the job, i will try to live up to the team's expectation

so my life has changed 180 degrees from scolding recruits n getting pissed by them, dealing wif NS , sleeping prayying that tonite there r no mosqitoes , bathing in cold ice water, hoping that the day will pass faster without any problems when i am on duty , wishing that its friday time to book out everyday

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

waking up by an alarm clock at 7am FIX, rushing for the bus, squeezing wif HUMANS in the MRT towards queenstown...topping up my smrt card, having bad hair days and dealing wif lots of poor english speakers everyday...trying not to eat the sch's canteen cuz it sux AND PAYING FOR IT, no longer free , bathing in hot showers !!! MOTIVATOR , mugging , studying...reading library books on the mrt trip back home , going to the library even ON SATURDAY juz before meeting / shopping wif friends, planning and explaining stuff to my team mates AND 1 LAST THING

trying to know this girl in my class !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wish mi luck man

shes not very pretty but shes the type that i like and i will be damm shy around her meaning i feel something for & from her...lol , have yet to know her name but hey i will get there :)

update u guys again soon i hope haha

2008-05-11T22:00:00.002+08:00

man , 2 bookings and no problem

this 1 yes...

OODs late...dammit

i got 1 guy who was drinking somewhere near his house then kena assaulted by his "friends" who obviously stilll havent gotten over "past" problems...

oh well now kena send to hosipital...haix...his a gd guy but this kinda thingy happened to him

now i realise life tat i have changed are worth the effort , however sometimes the biggest effort that u have given , u will not necessary see the fruits of ur labour...

i juz wanna wish u the best for the moment...

2008-05-05T17:47:00.002+08:00

18 more weeks n counting and i will FO , cb , cant wait to FO from here

it juz sux la working here , i am very "lucky" to have a good senior officer around to actually does nothing and haf bad hygiene

oh well...i actually tolerated long enough, but not now , now i am so gonna rebel

u work me till i got nothing much left n now u gif me nothing in return , haha...

u make me wonder how officer can be like urself...no batches n ur from infantry

make me think twice of why did i even become an officer...however they are indeed nice officers around...not this particular 1 working wif us sux to the core...now i know why bryan dun like u to the extend of pointing the middle finger to u , u know how much hatred tat is ma for a spec or rather for bryan to do that...he dont even scold F infront of recruits...

desmond still say u guys gonna suffer under his hands...sure we do & its not about ur studies tat u sux so much...

i will become more fck up than u until u leave dun worry, leave tat to me & i make sure i clean ur fck up backside as i know u hafen done shit since ur the 2ic except for making new rules n creating new systems which will onli hinder our main purpose of training committed and competant sailers...

2008-03-28T12:20:00.002+08:00

Emotion hurted ~

nothings showing outside
somethings hurting inside
easy to deceive
hard to conceive

my best friend's gf juz left him...he tried to keep himself away from looking sad but i know its killing him on the inside...why would pauline said this kinda stuff...futari no future ni mieinai...damm if my gf said this i would be so totally dead *ur strong enough to survive this*

upon seeing them for like near 2 years le , the last was the meeting for his b.day , together they went to see jay's concert , fcking sweet , i envy them but that envy ended 2 days back where we went to buy b.day gift for jj 1 of the old gang...

but sux the atmosphere wif him juz isnt correct, it used to be him toking and me listening and editing his jokes but now no, tats not the case, i had to go all out and joke , made him happie and stopped worrying...

all these attempts are futile cuz at 1 point i wanted to buy 2 shoelaces and make a friendship band for him ( learnt from mr steven !!! ) but dude, he said pauline used to make this for me , that very moment i know i am screwed, the worst part is everything that i am trying to do help him remember his gf...

then we somehow ended up in cineleisure...it juz sux cuz we kinda traveled the whole of orchard xD...we went to saw Rule No.1 , speaking of which now like seldom go out wif poly mates since i met this girl...

will try to find time as my LULL period is gonna end soon and i juz recovered from a god damm leg injury and still recovering from a fever, its combo man...sore throat, flu, cough == fever == gg

i am those kind who wun get sick easily but when i got sick its SICK...i went for a 30 minutes hot sun jog...it helped everytime to get rid of the fever and "weak"

pictures fade
memories stayed
*for me*
memories fade
pictures stayed
*sir poh's memory card got problem luckily his got a working hardisk who help contain his memories*

*if i got a wish machine*
i hereby wish that my best friend + his gf will make up & hopefully haf a GREAT future together , a FUTURE that i will be envy of !!!

i am bad at consoling ppl , maybe i should go give it a try...DEFINATELY NOT MY RECRUITS

Some Random Thoughts & FAQ

why i wanna become an officer ?
to changed ppl's life

how to drive passion ?
when u find meaning in wat ya doing

how to measure money ?
power, responsiblity ( how much u hold ) + ur expertise
*imagine* a air-con repair-er will not nid to repair air-con if every fcking 1 of us knows how to repair the air-con ourselves, his expertise is worth ZERO...

how to love ?
when ur young, u fall in love

how to change ?
dude tats a hard 1...lemme think...u nid to accept, view things from different perspective, haf confidence in 1self, onli then change can take place

do u like the girl ?
Even though I love you (i cant help thinking about if i'd be better without you)
if we stay together (it could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
*i cant help thinking this way, sorry but i am screwed*

now i realli hope my girl will keep me dreaming when i am awake
aahhhh, i wanna blind u then bind u wif me *evil smile*

i didnt think i did miss u this much, i should be more committed in this
i really should b4 i screwed some1's feeling

2008-03-23T10:02:00.002+08:00

Get To Know Sir Poh ???

--> is the title of today's entry

Careful Heart

you take your time and do not fall in love easily. you give 50% in a relationship, and expect 50% in return. you like to handle your problems directly and immediately. you are alright with not seeing him/her so often. you expect the person to change for you. you measure your desire to whomever you love by the amount of desire he shows you. you fall out of love easily.

well so damm true specially the you measure your desire to whomever you love by the amount of desire he shows you. haha :D

You're funky!

Everything about you says FUN!! in big, bubbly letters. Your style in people, clothes, what to say and more is out there, nifty and original. You do everything your own way, and nobody really knows you THAT perfectly. In fact, maybe even you don't. But nothing that deep bothers you, because you can always find out.

true true ;D

167 Days to ORD !!!

2008-02-24T14:55:00.002+08:00

2 years of NS isnt a waste of time depending on how u look at it

Sunday calls...

Is the routine order >.<

recruits will call on sunday, not saturday , dunno why...

ppl will pass their responsiblities to 2IC...dunno wat to do, juz gimme my hp number -.-

expect mi to settle...tats wat i did but i learnt !!!

i oso truely understand why officers are different...however again it boils down to personal char...

i know why i felt un-committed to them...cuz i dun know them, i dun haf the bond...naturally i will feel like that, however due to my professionalism, i continued on...

now tat i finally see somethings, i growed...

i find different challenges now...which is to grow the instructors and to ensure that the TC run smoothly without my presence....

i find myself in OC's shoes when i under-took 2IC appointment

this 2 yrs of NS isnt a waste of time...

i have changed...

2008-02-10T16:47:00.000+08:00

in order for me to feel "not so stressed" , i will not do the extra mile to help them liaoz

1: they dont even wanna help themselves
2: i cant find a good reason on why i should help them
3: SAF juz isnt paying enough for me
4: nobody appreciate the things i am doing
5: i am tired of these shit

until i can solved the mystery of the top 5 reasons, i will remain "factory"

factory means juz producing soldiers ( we dun care about the qualities )

i am onli 1 person, i can do this much, if i do extra for a long run, i will go crazy...juz like what i am feeling now, abt to go crazy ;(

i know i shouldnt be doing this but i am not an angel, i am juz an average joe who is trying to enjoy life...

as i am typing now...i am still helping some of them

and they realli kinda destroy my mood of CnY, keep getting calls from them -.-

zzz , a bit pissed again when i think of it

alrighty, wadever man, 209 more days

2008-01-30T19:30:00.000+08:00

Sir Poh getting usual...

*the below post is juz a fcking whinning post as Sir poh has got nowhere else to post his frustration & so happen hes at home now using blogger...unless u wanna be the post for me to vent my troubles...[how great of u]*

recruits toked to me...how can i counsel them when i myself is troubled...it takes a heart to change them, i totally agree but this heart of mine is getting weaker, falling sick soon...

for those whose been getting my random sms...SORRY

i juz nid to write it somewhere so all those ideas of awoling are lost...

sir poh is not strong, hes strong onli infront of his recruits ><

if i am strong, i no nid to whine n stuff

my spec say i am very positive, i aint...juz acting...but transfer my anger into something meaningful is a thing i could do easily

xfer anger to energy...to power...to strength, i could turn them easily

however tat afternoon, sir poh lost his cool, he vet it on his recruits...I AM SORRY

i am juz a loser...i kinda hate myself now...i aint being my usual self , hey wats my usual sel, i have so mani mask, i am totally become some1 u know ? tats the power to survive...which i processes...

i toked to a senior commander, he said u juz nid some1 to talk to not counselling...

*will u be the one ?*

2008-01-26T14:29:00.000+08:00

stress stress...

course commander...is the busiest...

its like ur the busiest yet no regonition, lol...

i worked like a cow yet SAF pay me 1k...slept at 1am or 2am everyday report work latest 8am however i will wake up at 5.30am by my recruits' water parade...

so far handle 3 BGR problems, 1 suicidal case...

how i handle them, i fcking lied...i told them my love exp, trying to make them think actually there are worst cases out there, some of which is true but tat isnt the point

the point is i freaking lied to my recruits...i am worst than a bitch ~
they look up to me, i promise the instructor's creed to their parents, their parents entrust their children to my care...how could i face them again in 6 weeks time during their POP

i got a bar on my shoulder, i do things which i felt is right, i talked so seniors commander on how...i trusted my intuition, am i right ? wat if i did it wrongly, the feeling within me was wrong...am i causing 1 of the suicide recruit ? did i force too much pressure onto him, he attempted suicide due to too much stress...did i caused it ? did i juz destroy him ? which in-turn hurts her parents cuz hes his onli son...can i still trust my gut feeling ?

what if u trusted ur gut feeling, did it, didnt turn out well, affected some1's life towards the bad side...what will u do, how will u feel, what can u do next,i nid know,i nid to find, i nid an answer, i cant trust my feeling anymore, rather i am afraid of wats gonna happen, how can i trust my feeling ever again...what will i do from now...

i am afraid to face him, how mani recruits cried infront of me, approaching me for advise for help...yet i am young, inexperienced to help them

to be honest i am escaping, trying to run away from reality, but i cant...i cant...

pls help me...i am suffering within yet i have to face them wif confidence, no worry attitude, problem-free commander...

despite all of these, i will be strong & try my best...
the reason i become an officer is i want to change ppl's life...i want them to call me sir poh cuz they respect me and not juz by my rank

2008-01-18T15:59:00.000+08:00

bad ladies nite...

Story, i cried while scolding my recruits...partying in zouk then later got wasted...but still sobber

the above totally sums up everything on wed...

i thought i wouldnt be so emotional, i decided to be in order to wake up their idea, decided to use the soft approach...

i told my colleages, lets go enjoy our nite n i will get wasted, hafen had the feeling of wanting to get wasted and cried...

so there i am in zouk, friends planning to get me wasted n haf a great time...

i did have a great time, how great it is is up to the viewer's own imagination
but i survived, sobber still a virgin xD

i had to play my cards right in this batch of recruits...
after tat nite i have experienced alot...

now i hope i can find some1 to settle down with...

hopefully someday i can and i will....b4 i ORD, tats my goals...

2008-01-12T10:48:00.000+08:00

this yr is like a voucher year for me , kinda unique xD

why voucher yr, hmmm

first my gd friend used voucher n got extra so i got myself a gatsby moving rubber, lol

after we meet up for a small gathering n i gave pinky a hello kitty keyboard of which she doesnt have a desktop to work wif [forgotten tat she uses laptop] super screwed right, haha >.<

so maybe next yr for her b.day...i will store up a cpu ? then next yr a monitor ? lol
then by the yr 20xx she will have a hello kitty set workable comp ;)

oh anyway, my poly mates gave me a voucher !!! can u believe it, lol

so maybe later i will be going IMM haha and begin my shopping spree again >.<
i feel so guilty cuz this year i spend like $250 already[without buyin shoes]

3 cheers to my poly mates, haha, voucher is good cuz i can use to buy wadever i want, haha, gonna love it...cuz my taste is very unique

ahhh...my new recruits juz enlisted last thursday...i promised my instructors not to interfee too much...how ever i notice being an officer really mean something or at least for me...NOT ALL OFFICERS cuz 1 of them i know is fcked up...but theres something different la

i promised the instructor's creed to their parents, the officer's creed to the government, the values to myself

my PC back in ocs think tat i aint good but hey ur wrong and ur the 1 who sux...ppl toking behind ur back n stuff, ur own instructors saying u like to suk up ur bosses...

oh well...to be honest i am kinda envy of pinky lol, she got to do wat she like & earn some money in the process, tats my dream since i am young.

To Do What I Like While Earning Enough

i am a simple guy material wise, i can live without any luxuries and i can live with luxuries.
day by day i do wat i like n no worries...yup a happy go-luck person
no worries tat explains i dun look my age ? haha
my family is blessed...i am lucky

cuz my recruit's family background isnt all tat good, lets say ur a regular @ 18-20 yrs old, ur earning 1.5k to support 2 sisters and 1 mum, or earning 1.5k for urself + ur grandmum + her medical bills...theres mani mani more

so if ur not even near 1 of those situations, considered urself lucky, so do not ever EVER look down on ITE students or those wif lower education

i hate those ppl who think they are clever n actually look downed on them, bastards !!!

some of them have bad family influcence, money problems, but they are trying, finding a way for survival...who can they blame, no1, who will help them, themselves...they grow to be stronger[some], more matured then others of the same age. do things like lets say sell drugs, u think they are stupid but do they have much of a choice ? wif ppl behind chasing them for money.

i will put in my 100% effort to help them...i almost cried when i saw my first batch of recruits POP...its my honor to see them grow so much in the span of the short 9 weeks. i was the 1 who planned their POP n i am proud in doing it, i do it for them , i dont do it for creditibility, i am juz a NSF, creditiblity wun bring me anywhere.

so all in all, i know what i am going to do after i ORD !!! & the next 8 months in service.

2008-01-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

b4 the blog if offically covered by spider webs...

slenes is here to !!!!!!!!!!!!!

*clean clean*

haha , hafen updated for damm long eh =X

now now, so fast left 9 months only !!! to ORD yay~!

this few weeks, haf been shopping like crazy~realli crazy...
first time buy so mani stuff, lol

been to China quanzhou, xiamen (winter 14 - 20 degrees)

realli cool place to be especially gulangyu, nice place to live in...

China is good for their mountain n sea la...

this year june to aug, gonna plan a trip for old gang(for those who dunno wats tat)[ a bunch of good friends from yishun sec]

how good it is to have friends
1 of my friend asked do u have a best friend

i begin to ponder...do i have 1 ?

well i have 1 but to be honest does he treat me the same ?
then i ask myself again...do i need a best friend ?

*think think*

nope...i know i have alot of good friends...i cherish each N every of u
cuz i choose my friends...

if i have alot of good friends, i dont need a best friend...

lets say i have sec sch , poly, working, outside, and now army friends'

in different situation i nid certain help and only certain ppl can help...

lets say in army when i needed help, of cuz i call my army ppl to help ma...cant possibly call my sec, poly friends, hhaa

so to all my friends who happen to read this , every1 of my friends are dear to me...i love u guys and happie 2008 =D hopefully eh, haahaa

2007-11-19T18:23:00.000+08:00

puzzled ><

well well , maybe juz blog b4 i go booking & handle those bmt recruits -.-

today what gave me a shock is when i saw juan's new hairstyle , super shocking man !!! @.@

this coming dec , will be going to china wif family haha...christmas nite then will be back, perhaps some1 will jio me go countdown ?

the recruits are like part of my life...we are around the same age group...juz that i am a little more educated, higher rank, more senior experience than them...

in the end i am their instructor , mentor, friend, teacher...but i treat them more than trainees...is that a mistake ? i start to doubt myself...its complicated...all that i did, it was well meant, i promise this to u...my recruits

without a girlfriend for 7 months already...am i lacking some1 who cares for me other than my family member...i have been a kinda like loner for months...doesnt really reveal my inner self, true that i can be loud but thats a totally different personality...am i trapped too deep too long ?

should i go look for a new partner despite some of the aftermath which nearly raped my soul out of me ? maybe i am too loyal, devoted, native, direct ?

my ex got married in PH juz b4 i commission, juz becoz i decided to be mean and made her went back to PH as she finished studying here in SG...i aint whinning, okie shit i am but i juz hate fate/destiny for letting me met her, being together so in the end let me chose to let her leave...

theres this conflicting shit in my mind...should i be alone or go look for a partner to spend the rest of our lives together ?

i kinda decided to go easy on this, while pursue-ing my freedom, if my future "partner" cross my path, i will stay and decide wif my partner which path we wanna go...

let fate decide my destiny...love sir poh and this is what the recruits called me >< , kinda getting on my nerve...haha, next batch make sure they call me sir Aaron , sounds better eh =D

problem wif me

2007-08-16T22:08:00.000+08:00

problem wif me

since sec sch, i have been very honest, direct, straight forward

thus i have good friends who stay wif me and some "enemies"

when i came to army, its the same thing over again

i dun like to put on a fake face, singing praises where u know it isnt the truth
in army, we need to be more tactful which means wayang to me and that isnt me

if being an officer needs to wayang then i guess it doesnt suit me after all

in this platoon i got feedbacks for me to be more tactful, well i guess i can be harsh at times but i can juz being honest, if everybody were to put on the fake mask n sing praises even though u did badly, then u will never improve, u will never know wat u did is bad

lets be honest cuz i will be going to PRB, performance review board, becuz i did not perform good enough, i got a not bad score but due to my att C for a week i did not attend alot of stuff n thus my results are affected

i told u guys b4 , all my best friends went to Arti and this platoon some guys i dun really like so no choice...

if the board doesnt think i am good enough, i dont commission, its okie wif me, cuz they will lose a good officer, i believe i can do a good job, much more than some of them in this platoon.

so tml's PRB will determine all, either i commission or not...

problem wif me is that i dont want to wayang but it seems that army is mostly about wayang, tats why army life doesnt suit me...sometimes i am juz confuse, haha, not being wayang will put u into this kinda board PRB, i think its okie so no issue, guess the people around me is more nervous, lol

commission wif them wif my friends, they make this point very clear. some even say "i want to commission wif u" cuz maybe we haf come this far ,8 months...2 foreign country trips...

we will always be good friends even if we did not commission together =D

confinement in camp

2007-08-12T16:11:00.001+08:00

confinement in camp...

look wat confinement has done to me, haiz

the first week i was quite okie when i got confined and going to the HQ to report every 2 hours on weekend, cuz my buddy left me a DS for me to play

the second week, i got MC so i will skip tat part

third week which is this week, thursday, friday, sat and today sunday, i need to report every 2 hours to the HQ. 4 straight days man, zzz, addition of that due to me still silver in IPPT, i need to attend PT lesson which kinda is killing me, haizzz

i surf the net till i got bored
i ate the food till i got bored

so in between the interval report timing, i would sleep

so there, i slept and i missed the 3pm PT session

i went to report to HQ then later report to my PC who is in charge
i told him i overslept and was sorry for that as i missed the session
he replied "shit u"

ok now, i know my performance isnt very good and isnt very bad, PRB is coming next week, lol

will my name appear there or even appear at the ACPC where they represent u the sword...

will i even commission...

i know i can do a good job when i become 2LT , be it instructional or command, i juz dun wanna go staff tour becuz its meaningless man, the 9 months of stuff and hardship that i have been through then go staff and start from zero ? no way...at least i wanna do something meaningful

hopefully next week i can book out, 17th i wanna watch movie and meet my sec sch friends, lol, been a long time man, OCs has eaten alot of my time...haiz

sometimes i just have this urge of meeting every1 i know, partly Attachment NCS friends, poly friends, sec sch friends, outside friends...

but they are all kinda busy and i oso lazy to plan, not alot of people actually plan for all these as they already got their own life[ bf , gf ] n stuff

alright tats all, oh and my friendster is almost filled , lol, all the people i know or actually all whom i tried to find, haha

kinda happy cuz if i am old, i looked back into my friendster, these are the ppl who had left foot prints in my life =D, serves as a memory...

oh and i drew a Rose, lol , my camera phone isnt wif me also >.< so i couldnt snap a shot and put it in my blog, haha, when i got a chance i will snap it n put it up here =D

ying shui si yuan

2007-08-06T13:57:00.001+08:00

many of us didnt noticed that bond between friends can be so great

n thus ying shui si yuan which kinda means the water we consume everyday forgetting the origins of it

i for example is a gd example of this

i hafn't been going out wif my friends since OCS either from sec sch, poly, work
thats the 3 category of friends i got =D

see how OCS has affected that, okie no reason, sometimes i am juz too tired/lazy haizz
the friends that we make around this age will eventually be our friends for life
even in ten, twenty years i firmly believe these friendship will never end, the bond the trust we created during sch days.

however it seemed that we hafen been meeting each other wif our own busy life/schedule but once we meet up i believe we will still chat about anything and there will be no barrier

i will be commissioned in 8th sep, but somehow i dont realli looked forward to it, haha

the bond that i have with the buddies i have in the army, i couldnt felt it as some of them decided to drop it half-way, some chose a different path.

once i settle down on my new posting after i become 2LT, i will be easier to reach haha

sorry guys if i didnt attend any of the outing be it mahjong or going out...

somehow i feel like going to the zoo, lol, interested people plz contact me !!!
say the ZOO, dou bu zi, not sure whether thats correct or not, lol, long time since i used japanese, oh well, army...

lets shout ORD, lol >.<

and...

i am serious about the zoo, lol

LETS GO TO THE ZOOOOOO....

2007-07-29T10:54:00.000+08:00

kena confine for 3 weeks , every 2 hours report to HQ >.<

man tats lame and i kinda got sick of it cuz i dunno what to do man, lol

stay in bunk , visiting friendster, playing DS[my buddy left it for me], chatting using msn[e-buddy], listening to "hao ting"

thats some limitation to what i can do being confine here

its been troubling how NS really change ppl's mind

[============================]
this is love at first sight
let this be the start for the rest of our lives
stop teasing me
stop playing games
u know i got a crush on u
always waiting for the moment
letting me guess in torment
i need a reason to live
for the love i have to give
i grow wings
for u i could sing
include me into this love chain
even though i got nothing to gain
wanted to cry
but tears are dry
i know its crazy to put up a fight
yet i am too lazy to do it all right
somethings are hard to achieve
i dont wanna be deceived
shifting your eyes away
swifting my heart away
erase my phase wif ease
where dare turned to care
it is frustrating
cuz its complicating
to be living in a zone
where your gone

let me in to understand u

give me a chance for a dance
a chance to ride by your side
u are winter towards me
that is hindering me
why am i so stupid
thinking i am your cupid
wish my days are sunny
stop it from being rainy
waking up another day
the moon got lost the other night
the sun rise to say
i guess i am feeling alright

i really want a true love
never letting go & giving up
i thought of you again today
reminded me how with time i have changed

you were the first to love me
who was the last to love you ?

[===========================]

juz writing this as i am too bored, plus+ i need to write a reflection of my stay in OCS

2007-07-23T20:32:00.000+08:00

whew , juz came back from taiwan haha

surprisingly all the training seem like nothing and didnt realli bring any pain to us, maybe becuz we are thinking and looking forward towards the R&R , lol on the very first day

i will skip the training part tou cuz it kinda sux , lol

culture difference, trains, the civilians will queue to go to the right of the escalator haha to allow a walk way up on the left, then the people will line up allowing the people who are alighting alight from the left, lol , tats the difference

but the night market really leave a horrible impact on the beautiful taiwan, walking in slippers [me] can kicked like 6 milk tea cups in juz like maybe 7 steps ? lol

if u wanna do ur shopping , do it at Wu Fen Pu or maybe Xi Men Ding , we went on a right date man , lol , its holidays for the taiwanese and the season is turning and the clothes are liek woot , dropped prices, lol

at the night market often many ppl see us as soldiers from outside country try to con us, the shop assitant said 300-590 NT which is $15 - 30

but then the boss juz said 200NT sell u lor >.<

so its 300-590 or its 200 , zzz obviously trying to cheat us lor
that is at kao xiong, xin jue jiang, haha

got chance i would go to taiwan man , the women there really know how to dress up but then some women's smile will juz blow u away [in an ugly manner]

some pretty but wif a bad smile lor haizzz
they really know how to dress up but take out those make-up i am sure they aint that pretty , some la not all haha

no hunks tou , an average joe here in sg might be able to make it big in taiwan ahha, tats how bad the situaton there is, so guys bring ur gfs there to let her notice ur power and fear her own >.<

the food there is super oso but a bit costly lor , it was like 37-40 degrees when i am there including training.

it sux man, lol , oh during training there will be "ninja" van, that van has a lot of stuff , lol , sell u food and drinks but of cos its not for cadets >.<

the scenery there is like omg , during training la of cos , in R&R u wun get to see mountains alot as ur eyes will be busy noticing women especially when they often "zai geng" , i upskirt a girl la and its not "gu yi" de, i was walking up this stairs as the whole shop is selling at 100NT per item, then i walk up and there i see a girl without panties, zzz, and damm the girl is beautiful ,zzz, okie , lol

if u ever wanna go taiwan bring me along okie , lol , i know how the system work there abit =D

2007-06-24T10:12:00.001+08:00

i read quite a lot of things about taiwan for the past 1 hour , lol

i really hope we can go to taipei leh >.<
heard from my friends (taiwanese) they all say taipei is like orchard in s'pore haha

but we might not go to taipei haizzz

most probably kao xiong , they say its like bugis in s'pore

oh well, after reading i notice something , lol

its unlike australia , taiwan is like famous for their shopping and food unlike australia
AUS is more to activities and animal =D

yes animal , i love them =D especially wombat haha

taiwan is ingoring their animals !!!

2007-06-23T15:27:00.000+08:00

next week taiwan , haiz , xiong leh , but got 4 days freeNeasy after that , lol

so guys be prepared for gifts !!! woot , haha

9 more weeks to commission , oh well

juz hope nothing goes wrong hehe =D

i just hope i can get 2LT soon enough cuz life as a cadet really sux , lol

erm lots of things i wanna do but cant

lots of value and character to be seen >.<

aiya nothing le , nothing much to say oso , oh well , wish me luck in taiwan eh :D

2007-06-16T19:42:00.000+08:00

alright i failed the air force medical >.< haiz

i also dunno how i fail but oh well guess i wun be going for air grading liaoz le , haizzzz

anyway i will be going to Taiwan soon , lol , woot >.< for like near a month , going off at 1st july , coming back on 22th july haha

if u guys wanna send me off , dun come !!! lol becuz msot probably it will be a mid night flight unless u dowan ur sleep xD

okie then 2 more weeks to Taiwan , 10 more weeks to commission , lol

Brunei juz sux no doubt but Taiwan will be shag

the training will be finished and then R&R , woot , 4 days wor haha

guess i wanna shop and eat like crazy >.<

Brunei just make me realise the real me when i am in some fck-up situation like not enough food to survive those kind of things, u will notice how selfish u are

of cos for me i wil only help my own buddies, lol , other than that no way..

after the trip from Brunei i notice i still take alot of things for granted , i even killed a bird [its a test ] it juz sux when u twist it's head then strip the feathers , zzz , if i go on , u guys might viomit , lol

so guys dun take food, shelter, friends, weather for granted =D

2007-05-05T21:30:00.000+08:00

15th i am going to brunei for exercise , OMG , lol

heard a lot about that place, oh well cant really comment all that well cuz i hafen been there before, after i come back then i can tell u guys about it, lol

on friday our wing commander do PT with us and we did like 40 of each type of push up, there are 4-5 types i think , we did 12 sets of 20 push-up >.<
after we did 1000 sits-up >.<, we did all these in the rain !!!

without having lunch , we went straight for a 4km mid-day road march, half way we were told to not sling our weapon -.- , then after we went for vertical climb which made us walk up the stairs and down 5 times in FBO [ full battle order ]

somehow i managed to not fall sick and survive but some of the people got fever , headache n stuff lidat

then today we went to upper mandai for exercise [ hunter 2 ] >.< with all the injuries , again i suffer some injuries but no big of a deal come to think of it -.-

see what i meant by tough training OCS is giving us and making us very very tired, i hereby hoped that i can pass the test in brunei and get that JCC badge coz we passed hunter 2 which required us to walk the "March Of Infantry Pride" [32km] to get the CSB badge.

i am gonna miss angelin's b.day and shu xian's b.day
so sorry man , for angelin i didnt attend her b.day once in 3 years , zzzz paiseh paiseh

shu xian is my date for social night and i kinda promise her to go but i just cant , army sux !!!
i will try to make up man, SORRY !!!

2007-05-01T18:51:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i blog something , lol

well juz had a 1 1/2 day of rest, lol , felt so good...

however i am now in camp and many ppl didnt know that actually in OCS there is a comp in every room

for my pilot thingy, think muz wait until i finish this officer course then can go to Australia for air grading haizz... the medical done by the RSAF really sux , damm slow sia >.<

now i got no choice but to endure through this course

whenever i book in i feel a little depressed, while in BMT whenever i book in i actually look forward to it, lol

the 2 years i am in NS is a lot different from the 1 my friends are going through...the pay difference is 1 thing but the things u do are a lot very very different , Helicopter ride, river crossing, survival camp, navigation exercise, most of these activities are actually quite stressful on the body yet fun >.<

i learnt alot of stuff and below is my only motivation line

************************************
Time is always moving, slowly but surely
************************************

i am suffering, i wanna go out but some factors like the pilot thingy is stopping me and secretly i am dependant on that to keep my will here in order to survive here. A lot of the ppl here doesnt wanna be here yet for different reasons like pride, love ones, money, many other more, they stay on

indeed i feel that i have change a lot , mentally, physically...a lot i can even feel the change, there are only 2 things in NS for me , 1 is BMT , the other is OCS , i have changed a lot since OCS from BMT

for my mum i would fight , fight for singapore , not for singapore or anything else but for my mum i would...

so far i am getting happier here but when depression sets in, its the other way round

in 2 weeks time i will go off to brunei for survival camp and tons of walking finding check points >.<

after brunei should be CSB , where we train up our combat fitness

after CSB , is Taiwan, where we get to train how is it like to be in a real war

i kinda feel like i am drifting further away from the sociality, its pretty sad consider i only browse channelnewsasia so that i can still "follow" up on wats happening in the world...

i juz wish the 1 year 4 months pass fast >.<

2007-01-14T18:03:00.000+08:00

now i understand why they say cadets are quite rich , lol

u see we juz wanted to get out earlier so we took cab and basically too tired to go out , most of us will juz rest >.< at home

for me i rest at home if no major event , lol , playing games , updating friends using msn , kinda boring

next week gonna go back to tekong for section field camp

we will haf 3 in our service term so this is 1

got a hp ban , it sux like hell , can onli use phone for like 15 minutes everyday so its meaningless , maybe i will become CDO this week better dont cuz it will sux having my weekend burn-ed

hopefully i get to book out wif no major punishment , juz fuck the map thingy as tat i surely will tio ><

army is like jail man , i juz wanna get past the life as a cadet... suffer for 9 months n then live a better life in army as officers for the other 1 year

=*=*=
often i cant express my feelings , half of them faded away with the sunset
when things revived , timing isnt there
when time is right , courage isnt there
when courage is there , feelings isnt there
when feelings is there , the person isnt there
when person is there , confession lurk out

its a confession of pain

its painful to be there yet worst when ur struck there...
=*=*=

well well theres a thing call social night n i haf to find a mate wif me >.<
i hate myself for not trying my best to look for a gf seriously
now tat ur gone , totally not cool ...

tried my best not to re-call yet pictures , events turn into memories n stay inside me

gonna find a girl or it will be bad totally bad , lol

lets hope i can find a true love , write it into a story n never to say sorry

2007-01-01T12:20:00.000+08:00

woot , another week is gone , lol

tough yet when u think back its pretty funny n ur happy cuz u somehow finish the tekan which i wouldnt think i would complete it

now my leg has 1 big brusier there , i cant stand long at 1 place , meaning i cant stand still , lol

this tuesday i will enter the 2nd phase of OCS , hehe

then it will be the toughest 14 weeks , very very tough 1 >.<

think in ocs its the peer pressure over there that make u stronger n of coz the tough training , environment =D

i cant actually blog wat i did in OCS but if ur interested ask me out for a cup of tea n u will see me speaking like nobody's bussiness...lol , maybe isolated too long

dont even know theres an earthquake in taiwan which disrupts the internet thingy n here i am once a week book out n no anime to watch , lol it sux obviously

oh and wish ya all a Happy new year !!!

lets all hope i get to book out this week without getting any extras, lol

2006-12-24T18:35:00.000+08:00

i cant imagine ppl can actually tahan the 3 weeks confinement in OCS , lol

for me , i cant take it already, maybe cuz i got no friend in there in the first 3-4 days cuz everything is so fast paced >.<

due to CAT 1 a lot of activities are cancelled , its no doubt tough in here , i didnt sleep well on the first 3 days n its physically stress for me due to the lack of rest and the mental stress which builds up due to a lot of reasons

a lot of 'new' things i nv expect myself to be doing , i cant list the 'new' things cuz its a rule in SAF tat i cant blog the exact details of what we do in OCS o.0

well well but i somehow managed to overcome them , lol and a lot of many stuff , i make some friends here n managed to sleep at the 4th night , lol

called some friends to seek advise n maybe to actually let it all out , i nearly got despressions , i know tats weak of me , haix

well we can book out every week due to the holidays >< n thx to the PH , our schedule are damm packed , here in OCS , its a test of knowledge and capablities

we got like written test , not like BMT , only physical test , lol

oh well officer eh , lol

i still cant decide whether i should be commission-ed first or b4 commission then apply for pilot course >.<

if i stay , i might haf a chance to OOC which means i cant apply anymore
if i go in n i fail air grading , i will be re-posted n stay for the rest of my service term =D

how sia , haizzzz

2006-12-16T01:06:00.000+08:00

bleh i got into ocs , lol

tough life , ah zu said 2 xiong companies are waiting for u guys >.<

erm gimme 5 seconds
5,4,3,2,1

okie , i am mentally prepared to get tekan , lol

tml gonna go out n get some fresh air , lala
been sick , yea sick ==> flu n sore throat

mayeb cuz of those potatoe chips & maybe some ice cream , lol
its killing me

now now i am a step closer to becoming a pilot , gd luck man =D

and of cos i remember u lah zhi chong , lol , man how could i possible forget some1 i already know unless i should to but in this case no =D , which is a gd thing isnt it

juz tat nsf hasnt realli got time for gatehring n stuff , cuz nsf normally wanna juz lie down n basically do nothing n no more falling in or heads out all this kinda crap , juz me , myself n my bed >.<

3 weeks confinement is waiting for me , lol , man lets jzu say cya guys in 1 month's time , haha

i came for ur heart and u took away mine
burnt to ash , friend to stranger
voice become whisper n faded away
all tats left is silent

all the lust has become dust
blown to bits into some pit
leave tat guy alone
let his wounds rot
let his anger run hot
tats all he got

hoping the angel sings
u will always be under my wing
guiding u , loving u , caring for u

the guy looks at the angel
mistook it for some girl
n in turn fallen for her

having hope for a new place to cover his wounds
hoping his wounds would be healed
nv to let history repeat itself

but hes so wrong
the 'angel' takes pity on him
not loving but treated him nicely juz cuz she pities him
boom , not wanting to hurt the guy ( sometimes it better to be straightforward )
giving the guy false hope

bleh boy boy ur this close to being dead
so close but hell no

# loveless
erm lets jzu say i dun understand wat i am saying oso , lol

summary ==> this guy has juz broken up / feeling damm sad , then some girl treat this guy a little better than others. this guy started to feel different , thinking tat maybe this girl is for him but boy is he wrong. this girl juz shower him wif care cuz she pity him , not meaning anything. when she realise this guy has special feeling for her , she didnt talk him so as not to kill him without noticing tat this hesitation is doing more harm to this guy than straight rejection. this guy realise tat shes only caring for him for another reason, hes starting to calm down , yup , if he continues on , he might damage his very own confidence , last but not least his brain cells >.<

peace

conclusion
# sometimes its better to juz reject rather than giving excuse which might in turn give off false hope

!!! this above is juz a story i made up , ITS NOT MY OWN STORY , LOL , ITS NOT !!!
# so i am okie =D , thx to the ppl who showed me concern but i am a nsf , no stress no nothing , i am stress free #

2006-12-12T14:57:00.000+08:00

it would be so much easier if we never met

whenever i past by khatib mrt
there juz come bomb fly by n part of my brain will juz catch tat image n pop it up

the girl i liked in poly

there when the train stops there , even tou its only for like 10 seconds till it closes its door

it felt like minutes , my brain go blank n imagine u there sitting on the sofa watching tv dress-ed casually , all the small things we've done back when we r still studying...

even though we aint meant to be but hey its okie i mean i love u & i am gonna respect tat decision, no choice but to accept it ya :(

but hey if u asked me did i regret it , juz follow the first line

erm wait a moment , if u asked me now , i would say i didnt regret loving u
for tat short memory has made me stronger , stronger yet afraid for another relationship wif another girl

the feeling of not wanting tat feeling again
the short happiness tat u experience n tat shape pain which pierce ur heart
love is a chance isnt it , a double edge sword

it can kill u wif pain or bring u a life time happiness wif some1 who share the thing wif u & tat thing is call-ed 'Mutual love'

lately been refusing ppl to meet up for gathering , lol
sry guys , been poor , yeah real poor

tats y i try not to go out , lol
so tats y ima here blogging =D

chatting , tv , movies ( downloaded ones of cos , lol ) has been my best friends since erm sunday haha

snacks n of cos ICE CREAM are killing me !!!!

its holiday n yeah lets rock

oh yea was chatting wif melody & i figured if i ever has to join this party which requires u to haf 1 opposite sex in order to go ( its a must !!! )

who will actually go wif me , lol , WHO WILL GO WIF ME !!!!!!
i am afraid of being reject but tats wat i often get , poor me

i have asked all my female friends n None want to go wif me
guess what ==> the above will kill me , IT WILL , lol

guess tats all man , haha , btw this blog is for when i grow old cuz my memory sux big time , i can come back n hey i look-ed like this when i was young , lol n all those crazy things i did back >< ( man i sounded like some old man )

so if u guys enjoyed reading my random thoughts n things about my life , try to come back , but after my block leave ends tats it , lol , another isolation time for this blog

enjoy !!!!!!! ( while u still can )

2006-12-11T14:46:00.000+08:00

hey bah , lol , this site isnt dead yet ><

its been like months man
well lets see where should i start , lol

okie now i am a private which means i am no longer a recruit xD
for now i am waiting for my posting, meaning maybe i will go command school , maybe i will go into a unit ( hopefully not , i might rot n die there )

i am gotten very fit now , lol , compared to the days when i was in poly or even sec sch

oh yea whenever i go out wif friends ( poly friends ) , they will always say i become darker liaoz >.< , dunno whether its a gd thing or bad 1 , haha , especially ying , always , ALWAYS say i become ' hei ' liaoz

they said tat NS is a mile stone for men and i believe tats true , lol , i noticed i haf changed , a lot actually , more mature , less lazy ? haha , responsible & a whole lot more in order to become a real men , haha

wait wait lets define a men , lol
Dictionary.com says :
A male human endowed with qualities, such as strength, considered characteristic of manhood

which is liek wtf ? keke

well to me Men is
slenes say :
able to take care of ppl around him ( love ones ) , responsible in watever thingy he do

oh well wadever , haha

for now i am hoping to go into OCS to become an officer then take up pilot course , hopefully i can get in n then * cross fingers * pass the Air grading thingy , if nothing went wrong , i will sign on to the Airforce to become a pilot

tats my current plan

alt plan is
if i go sispec , try to crossover to OCS then continue on plan , lol
i hope i dont go to unit , i rather will rot in there

if not alt plan is
finished sispec n complete my 2 yrs , go out get a job or maybe study more ? haha

so conclusion , 15th dec is the day

lets juz hope i go into OCS , lol

lets say while i am in mainland , ask me out okie ? lol
but i might get book-ed by others ><

while blogging this , a little bit of my heart is saying
* i wanna go back to sec sch n find my first love *

oh well , oh before i forgot juz to remind myself , the rainbow in tekong is perfect , even without a waterfall nearby , its amazing

2006-09-24T16:48:00.000+08:00

well lets do a quick post b4 i book in , lol

thursday basically i went home feeling very sianz , its tat kind of feeling where u dun really feel like doing anything , i knew it b4 i come to singapore , i juz feel tat i will stone , lol

its 2 weeks man , 2 weeks in tekong felt like dunno what , maybe months in singapore , its better to see planes flying here n there...the view there is good oso , haha , oh izzit theres basically nothing to see , lol except botaks ><

well during orientation , some sisters or gfs or wadever , trying to see GIRLS , lol , we will be in a very very high morale , spirit upon seeing them !!!

well for me i went out on thursday , surprisely i stunned for 2 seconds for every girl i see , lol , oh well >.<

friday i did nothing , juz playing some games happily , lol , then at nite went out wif some woodland + cck friends poly de ><

felt very bloated , i think i am juz feeling full , but later tat nite i felt something juz isnt right

and well i got diarrhoea , i viomited , i had fever , body ache , headache , no strength at all , its tat kind of feeling u wun wanna haf , haix , very fck up man.....

it juz sux and to think i am going to send mayang go back to indo the next day juz leave me feeling very helpless

i didnt haf a single wink of sleep , despite tat i forced myself to carry on , i went to the air port sending her off which i am really happy i did , when i see her , its like she drop some cure water onto me , i feel so good and refreshing , after she left , i kinda haf this sad feeling , man i dun wanna emphasis on it laioz >.<

afetr tat i went beach road , first time being there , wif a super pain stomach , keep having the feeling tat i will shit in my pants >.< , tats how bad it is , i went to 1 of the army shop , i was lost btw and u know wat help guide my way ?

BOTAK , LOL YES BOTAK , ZZZ , i was on my way there then i followed 1 of the botak n i saw holy shit all carrying yellow plastic bags , lol , so eventually i found the way , zzz

after tat i went to orchard to haf dinner wif old gang >< , still feeling like shit , went to pepper rice which i love the most BUT i only ate 3-5 mouthfull , zzz , totally no appetide , haiz , after tat went to watch little men , damm funny , holy , i was laughing throughtout the whole movie but juz b4 7 minutes the movie ended , the sick feeling come back again , zzz

n then sunday , i woke up feeling very damm sianz despite my very sick feeling has gone , now is juz feeling sick >.< , thinking of carrying a super damm heavy bag and booking in , haizz , oh well , tat marks the ending of my first booking out and first book in , lol

haf fun u guys , oh yea i cant blog about ns stuff but i dun gif a damm lah , juz tat i aint feeling very well , lol >.< okie man , gotta go liaoz , take care man , May , hope u haf fun in Indo , cant wait to see u back in singapore...

take care , gonna miss u...

2006-09-03T00:06:00.000+08:00

bah , the last post b4 i go in army , i dunno wat will happen there okie except theres no girls n i had to cut botak >.<

yea i have been playing maple , sure all kinds of ppl play maple , lol to my surprise !!! o.0

i met a few beauties , yea , some thought , made friends wif so many ppl , lol , mostly sec sch >.< , 1 design sch girl , and a taxi driver cool guy , tat guy named ken gave me his password n account ID , i was like wtf , lol , of cos i didnt hack him , its juz not my style

been playing maple for like a month , yup , lol a month , and i am very tired >.<

lvling 4-8 hours killing the same monsters >.< is very taxing on ur little kawaii fingers , lol , i learnt to act cute , flirt , much remembering my sec sch life as i am a flirt >.<

but hey ppl changed ya , lol
oh yea how can i forget tat , i been mahjonging alot , ALOT juz gotta stressed it ALOT , lol

i been too busy yet tired to blog as like i used to be , FREE , lol
i oso dunno man , juz began to chat wif many ppl around me without noticing especially to the ppl from maple...

well i guess friendship wun be as strong cuz u meet new ppl n meet them UNLESS we all put in effort to meet up , omg tats wat i learnt from TV , lol

theres a thing call-ed couple ritual but its a 2 person thing , i was there wondering if we can come up wif a friend ritual , lol

i am going on a chalet on the 3th >.< , erm , its juz good to be young , lol
seems like i am being old liaoz .... f3

well guys haf fun out there n take care...

2006-07-15T03:04:00.000+08:00

wat happens when u used to haf a friend n ya missing he/she

wat would u do if u miss he/she n yet is too paiseh to initiate the toking

nah actually juz after monday which is the celebration for allan then yesterday talked to dave , then we happen to stumble on this joke , then reminds me of this certain person , damm funny

oh well , not tat i miss this person or something , its juz plain coincidence , zzzzzz , i got a friend named joy , well well shes hoping the guy she had a crush on read her blog >.< , tat guy didnt realise his promise to her

man , i only make promises wif the girl i love , serious promises ,lol , not those anyhow de , etc "i will not love another girl in my life" or something lidat xD , not "i promise u i will go out wif u this weekend or some other shit"

well well i went to the library , lol , again.... i found out theres oso quite a number of chio bus around leh , oh well , i never know chio bu read books , lol , oh well , chio bu oso human leh !!!

THEN HOW COME PPL LIKE ME CANNOT GO TO THE LIBRARY , haix , zzz , hehe
juz not my normal style eh ??? haha , this time i didnt borrow any art book le wor , guess what ? i borrowed a "whale + dolphin book" , "a how to D.I.Y book" and "a travel book"

sianz , was hoping i go to places like the USA , europe countries wif my friends but guess not man , its damm hard to find ppl to actually wants to travel wif u

issues like money , time heavily flood the percentage of us actually going on the journey , haizz , like i said going overseas really can see the person's character , yup yup , be it lazy or wat fuck , i see it all man , and muz be long term , at most a week , u will see xD , its juz like living together wif 1 person for a week , same feeling....when ur outside of singapore u will feel different , when u come back yea different again...so whenever i go overseas i think differently , kinda grow up a bit , lol

after army i might be going over to japan to see an old friend , lol , oh well we'll see how...

i noticed my blog is getting lengthier , lol , should i post some artistic/poetic thingy ? lol , somemore nobody tagging , seems so empty wif my name spamming all over , haizz , sianzz , comeon ppl , tag some shit xD

or else i nv know whose reading n whose not , lol , oso act as a motivation for me to blog wor >.<

like dave said , u blog for urself but after a while ur blogging for others , oh tats wat i said , lol

dave said something like , if nobody read ur blog , u will sianz , but if ppl read ur blog , u cant express urself fully , yeah

well well , u guys out there , haf fun n work hard !!!! earn more money n remember to treat slenes some dinner or something , lol

OH YEA and call me Aaron ok ? lol my new name , dun lidat la always call me monkey hor nyp gang , lol Aaron , ok ? AIR REN , lala , tats all folks

2006-07-13T21:21:00.000+08:00

let say time to update la Aaron !!! , lol , okok , update le lor

well well sunday world cup ma , we went out wif old gang then go seoul garden , holy shit i tio the secret number , zzz , we were playing zhong ji mi ma , zzz , i tio n drank the custom miso soup , man u wun ever wanna taste tat shit i tell ya

after the whole game thingy , we were celebrating jia ming's b.day , he got himself a pretty girl friend wor xD so pretty , look somewhat like siamese + thai , oh well , lol

after tat i went to the toilet , holy man first time my pee so smelly , zzz , muz be the miso !!!! nabei not adding those ice creams , lol , sianz la

on top of tat wc finals lost $5 , oh well , lol , but overall still win la xD

on the way back home then rain , kaozz , got a slight flu n fever when i woke up
====================================================================

ok whew i woke up le , lol its monday , cynthia long long ago told me wanna celebrate allan b.day , ok lor , haha was my answer , then i wake up blur blur , flu sux , i juz hate flu , then the fever made my head a bit slow , i got her sms n qi yea's , was thinking if i wanna go or not then when i wanna sms , bomb flat battery , muz be yesterday the soccer shit la , lol , forgot to charge , oh well

then in the end i still go !!!! HOOT LA , lol , hack care
ok so heres the pic !!! i admire hui ying they all , so many damm pictures , somehow they edit lor , clap clap , damm power , damm zai XD

well then lets tio flood wif pictures should we ? lol

aiyo , lidat oso wanna take picture " well tat muz be wats shes thinking xD "

everybody's wif the b.day boi "ORDER BY CYNTHia , lol "

nougat is in my mouth !!!

classical japanese twist =)

its juz funny when i see allan like this , lol

too much jap eh twist again =)

dun cry dude " no la hes actually preparing for some stuff

yup this >.<

i want to eat le la !!!!! "hungry slenes"

play play wif u la xD

ok la serious =)

the guy guy team " sound gay >.< "

OMFG QI YEA DUN BE GAY "nah hes juz shaking his head , somehow it becomes liek this , zzz "

come come group photo xD

again ? ok smile xD

no way am i smiling the third time , time to get naughty "lmao , looked at allan's action, ITS NOT FINGER LINKING GOOD , nnoooo"

WAHAHAHHAHA no hat !!!! , oh well gg

heeh tats all guys xD
hope the ppl here had fun

allan , cynthia , shu xian , jian yong , qi yea and me Aaron !!!
bah , eh on 7/10/2006 xD

2006-07-04T01:41:00.000+08:00

ever wonder how it is like to feel like the world didnt exist ?

mid night juz go to ur nearest garden , look up to the sky , take a deep breath , blow it through ur mouth to the sky

u willl notice the virtual world belongs to u , as if ur in the great plains of mongolia

a friend send me lots of english songs , man i found 2 in particular damm nice

Avril lavigne - nobody's home
Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most

everybody is busy wif many stuff , many ppl give up their studies and took on a journey of working...

ppl get ambicious and later tat kinda thinking haunt u back

zzz , juz some random thoughts

nowadays always chat wif dave , lol , oh man , i wonder if we were brothers in our previous life , zzzz , aaa dun wanna tok about it liao , gonna be busy this few weeks , oh well ....

2006-06-26T23:26:00.000+08:00

wheww , juz celebrated june's b.day , lol , i drew something quite nice xD
but but but , i cant make copies of it , zzzz , at first i draw liao i dun feel like giving it to her , lol , i wanna keep it !!! >.<

ok well well , lots of stuff to say man , suddenly my mind blocked , zzz
oh ok , we went to sake sushi , lol , nice place , not bad food , lol , next time old gang can go there xD

i eat till full full wor >.<, full !!!! june was msging back on friday , then bomb , i suddenly dunno wat to say so as to let her haf this mind set tat slenes dunno her b.day , lol , i was sweating all the way man when msn ing her , lol

but glad all turn out well la , as i got nothing to do tml night , maybe i do something to this blog to i can post pictures , lol , eh eh interested eh , i still owe u guys Australia de pictures , zzzz

its really nice man , i hope i can post some stuff on it , haha , n the for more photos can go to juan/ying 's blog >.<

they are photo siao , so should i say eh wat should i say , zzz , man sushi make my mind slow ,lol , dunno wat am i blogging today , june hope u had a fun time ok ? haha n the shox , even though i not gay , faster recovery to ya xD

OH b4 i forgot , ying today very pretty wor , mei juan oso , both got make up , pretty o , lol , yea slenes said ur pretty...

when i first saw juan , i give her a 2nd look , lol , then i point point juan , waa pretty wor , juan said got special meh ? then i said OF COS LA , lol , make up leh , then i point point my own eyes , then juan paiseh a bit said i apply "mask" "scar" "ra" with a smile , lol , paiseh i dunno how to spell... -.-

oh and ying today wear skirt , so pretty man , lol , ah zu not here , wasted , she oso got apply make-up , oh well , still same leh , like no diff lidat xD , but wear skirt pretty la , lol

wear more often ma , then maybe got guys look at u , lol , but i still think li yan pretty leh , lol , oh well =X
3 years in poly , li yan is 1 of the prettiest i have seen la , lol , oh well my taste ma xD

even though they always say i anyhow say pretty pretty , lol , but say say nia ma , no nid so serious , but whether they are intentions is different thing , but i shouldnt get involved in this kinda stuff la , lol

things gets complicated when theres distance , yup , its like stabbing me in the heart , nothing can heal it , yeah , okok , end of story , gonna slp le xD

2006-06-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

well well , grad ceremony eh , lol
u know its kinda boring lol sitting there clapping for whoever , but i only clap for those i know , lol

dun say i nv as in giving support ar xD
first of all i am so happy i haf seen some of u guys in such a long time , lol

flashes are all i remember during part of the photo-taking section, lol
gonna remember fenni's mum said ur class all chio bu ( giving an unbelievable expression , damm tats funny man )

wats more funny about tat is i answer yea i am so lucky to be in this class , lol
i dunno wats gotten into me but oh well , i still agree wif wat i said , browse our class to others , u will see , see the meaning of being blessed , lol

the guys oso not tat bad ok , lol , all above average except for me >.< , nah juz kidding , believe many ppl will viomit , lol , ok give ya A min , go get a bucket or something , lol

well theres a small joke ( juan told me de but i noticed it as well xD )
zu wei's sister dunno is shes urgent to leave or something , keep snapping pictures of ah zu's friends xD , all snap snap snap

then when she sees ying near ah zu , dunno how they appear there , lol side by side , kinda near each other , who cares man how , we care WHAT , lol , ok there u go , her sis wanna take some pic , of cos they action a bit but her sister said wei can stand nearer or not so far how to take <== or something lidat

then there i am , laughing in my heart , lol so amusing sia
and 1 thing i kinda dun like her sis is tat she asked me to take away the envelop inside the grad folder of mine >.<

i kinda get offended at the moment but oh well , lol , wats wrong wif the envelop man , putting there isnt nice but its convenience yet i know shes straight forward like me , lol

but its doesnt matter , small deals anyway , lol , mayeb cuz i dun like being order around , oh man i am gonna hate NS where u will be ordered around like some prisoners or stuff , yea stuff

oh yea 1 more thingy , often heard from da mao tat her sis always comment me de , lol , so is near her whenever i chat wif her or soemthing , tat day i finally saw her real identity , lol , i mean her appearance la , lol

well well shes pretty yup but hor , why da mao not pretty de like her jie jie , zzzzzzz but da mao got da mao , her jie got the looks , oh well , da mao oso nida grow taller , her jie jie very tall pretty wor , lol

some1 ( secret ) was saying her jiejie very pretty , prettier than da mao or something lidat , lol , man totally agree

lets see , wats more , oh yea i saw many friends man , qi yea, cynthia , jian yong from NCS , interns yea , haha

lets see , who else , chris...of cos got those uber talents from my last class
dave, marcus , yong jie , guan wei , henry , lol

yea of cos my old partner , man how could i forget u , lol , long hair n dressed properly eh , haha
walking onto the stage wif such grace , but from far i see ur legs isnt a problem so i can say i am surprised yet admire ur appearance , haha but i still like ur rebond-ed hair , haha , yup guess i know u when ur at the prettiest stage of ur life , eh i mean maybe , lol , cuz other than tat i didnt know u , aaa bah wat am i toking about , juz saying long hair doesnt suit u , lol and ur hair style not nice xD

not tat i notice a lot , cuz cynthia and u are together , lol , oh well , cynthia asked me to take a photo wif u , i think u wouldnt want to so i act like a bad ass , lol refusing it in the first place , like i said wun wanna bother u any further especially i think i hold u down in ur study grades cuz i didnt see u in the top 10% , i dunno man if u blame me or anything , oh well dun wanna elaborate any further , like they said they more u aim they more likely u will miss , eh think i translate directly from chinese , lol

henry still said i look the best , he loves the tie i had loves everything except for the belt , lol , oh well , even thought ying keep saying its too short ( for the tie ) , lol
i oso a bit paiseh ask u to help me tie tie , lol oh well
keep getting the impression tat if a girl tie a tie for a guy means => lao gong lao po , oh well , lol , tats juz me still a little old fashion yet fashionable in other directions, zzz

i had a hell of a day actually , i went out on monday came back at nite , then i slept at 9pm or around there , i woke up in the middle of nowhere at around 11pm , stomach was hurting like a fucker , went to shit n stuff till 12am , then it got better cuz i got nothing left in my stomach , lol thus got nothing to shit , still hurting tou , sianzz , chatting to shu lei till maybe 2am or stuff , then went to sleep , couldnt get to slp cuz of the pain , b4 i noticed anything , it was 6.40am , lol

luckily i haf prepared most of the stuff i needed , yea man , lol , i prepared it during the shitting in between intervals , sianz

then monday i walked the whole day , tuesday oso walked whole day , was damm tired , lol , sian la , oh yea i brought a new pair of shoes , lol , tats y i am so poor , but i juz took out some money , lol , wahahaha , now i know wat working means

u will be poor till start of ur pay checks , rich till end of ur next pay checks , yup , i dun get any more money form my mum now , lol , so its surviving on ur own , its time eh , lol , after so long , 6 years + 4 years + 3 years, yea i have been feed for over 13 years, zzz , couldnt ask for more

gonna go now got other stuff to do , lol

2006-06-19T20:55:00.000+08:00

oh yea forgot xb , zzz , wtf man , lol paiseh man

now lets see, xb ar , matured a lot man , ever since ur attachment at NCS , i heard rumours , yes rumours that ur coding suddenly become siao siao pro ar , lol

matured MORE , lol , remember the time we first time go ur house make cake dunno for whose birthday , lol , I LOVE THE EXP Man , lol , or rather the taste of cake , lol

holy crap man , now i misss tat , lol , yup 24th sat we will meet again xD
but i got something on at 24th b.day , so many ppl birthday

my dota clan got outing ,my old gang planning for some1's b.day , then xb b.day
see what i mean by busy busy busy , suddenly...

but i decided to go to xb's b.day , then hor if my old gang come up wif something , i might leave a little earlier i guess , xD

n juz fuck my dota clan outing , lol , a bunch of kids only >.<
my outside friends got 1 clan wanna invite them to clan , woot , lol
its called GoD clan , i played wif them b4 , yeah they r quite good , maybe better than my current clan , lol but wadever , my comp spoil = gg

well well its the day b4 grad , i actually dun give a damm about it , juz wanna meet some old friends n this grad only happens once in a life time , lol , so why not , go see see n exp it lor xD

i wanna meet ding yu n asked him how is it like , lol inside >.<

dunno y the song didnt coem out from this blog , so damm weird , zzz , n thx again ying for the geocities account , xie xie ah fat xD

betetr sleep early today , ah bo tml sure wun wake up , man 7.40am is a early time to meet , too early , lol , gonna call them later n complain , lol

ok then , haf fun ppl n those betting in world cup , lol

2006-06-16T23:23:00.000+08:00

slenes changed come to realising , lol

hes stopped whining , stopped speaking in chinese , stopped having long hair XD , or was it becoz of the grad ceremony require us guys to keep it short ? zzzz oh well , lol

i hafen got formal shoes , zzz , its gonna sux loads , but well he has gain more experienced , hopefully i can teasure friendship more , not like the old me, haha

often ppl ask me do u believe in fate , hey hey now thats tough ya know , diff ppl diff oppinons , yeah , i say o lvls i managed to juz make it a pass to qualify me to poly , mi poly , i managed to pass not too lowly without studying again , year 3 i made it into a so called popular course which is bioinformatics n got to learn some super talents hard working ppl , lol , of cos theres an exception like dave , lol , no wonder we so gam , oh well...

things juz somehow let me pass it at the lowest needed requirement , lol
well tats in the studies part , i wonder about the job part , seems like my luck has exhausted or i am juz plain lazy , yeah i've been lazy my whole life , lol , no luck in finding singaporean girl friends too , lol

maybe my luck isnt here in sg , maybe i am more suitable outside overseas , yeah , hafen made up my mind yet tou , haizzz , i juz hope i am more matured i always do , hope i can understand many things n made a decision , do it here or elsewhere

opps and we were talking about fate , zzz , hell , wat am i thinking , lol
well for the ppl who thinks grad ceremony will be very boring cheers , lol , man i totally agree but hey still remember orientation ? lol yup its still fucking standing deep in my mind , u know , lol , as if its happened yesterday but no...its 3 years , a lot has changed

our ying has grown prettier ( n fatter )
our june has matured
our juan has grown to be more self-assured
our da mao has turned from kiddy to a little lady-like
our eh why do i only noticed guys ar , zzz
maybe i've been mixing more wif them n see their changes , lol
our jasima has become more positive =) ( good thing )
our shu lei is prettier
our ding yu more handsome n always joking >.< , now more joke than me , win le lor
our chee chong is more cheerful
our fenni more hardworking n ( got eyebrowns liao yay >.< )

well well tats wat i think , lol
copyright copyright , dont sue me pls xD

the others not mentioned means u didnt changed much or i didnt notice enough , zzz , lol

ah zu , json , yz still the same

allan david , sangeev , zuaini hopefully they r living good n kicking , lol
no news from them tou

oh well , 3 years , gonna make some conclusion eh , lol
its been fun , yup , i miss the time when we r year 1 n we went shopping together , lol , the mess we make when in tutorial rooms

yup , ppl juz dun cherish when they r there , but when they aint there , ppl start to cherish n regret , lol

but hey its been fun , middle of it some quarrels n stuff but all are still fine now , lol

well then lets say i made some good dudes in poly , kendo ppl , some friend's friend , lol

well tats all i guess, cya around in grad ceremony 20th , gonna find shoes now ,lol

2006-06-13T14:55:00.000+08:00

http://www.elyrics.net/read/w/wreckers-lyrics
All of "The Wreckers" lyrics are here , cool country pop haha

man so many ncie damm songs , lol

07-the_wreckers-cigarettes.mp3
02-the_wreckers-way_back_home.mp3
The Wreckers - Leave The Pieces.mp3
09-the_wreckers-lay_me_down.mp3
03-the_wreckers-the_good_kind.mp3
06-the_wreckers-stand_still_look_pretty.mp3

still got 3 songs tou , lol , still downloading using this thingy called shareaza , zzz , and nobody is seeding , tats lame enough , even if 1 is seeding , the que is damm long , oh well , hope the next 3 songs is nice , lol

gonna spam every1 wif "Lay Me Down"

cool band , The Wreckers , somehow remember me of m2m which i loved deeply , lol , mirror mirror , the day u went away , dear dairy n 1 more i forgot , lol , the first song of their first album , but i forgot the name , zzz , man m2m long time , lol , 4 years ? more than tat , oh well

game over...

2006-06-01T19:48:00.000+08:00

feeling a little lazy to update , lol

well i juz watched X-men wif ding yu n zhi chong , well rare eh , lol

3 years man 3 years !!!!!!!!!!! for the first time we went out to watch movie , holy crap , lol , FIRST TIME !!!!!!!!!!!

well the movie is quite nice tou , lol , but i dun really like action movie leh , haiz , but its kinda funny , and my favourite scott , like no takes lidat , only a few scenes from him , lol

well next week if there isnt even error , we gonna watch da vinci code , lol , wif 438 n some guys xD

lets see , oh yeah grad ceremony , dun feel like going but oh well partly becoz of the dress code n shit , zzzz , lol , but it will be fun tou =)

lets juz say i miss singapore zoo , lol
got chance ppl , lets go leh , see see animals xD

2006-05-29T01:52:00.000+08:00

day 1
===========
we went to rusty's market , our Apartment only opens at 7am , check in time is 10am
and there in the middle of nowhere , fuck its 5am , lol , nothing we can do except to neogociate wif the nite manager to put

our bags near the counter till the checkin time, well i didnt slept on the plane , keep listening to jap music n looking out of the

window , lol , damm i am still a kid , lol , the journey there is crap , fucking long , 6 hours from Singapore to Carins , its a city

in Australia Queensland. Anyway after reaching the airport , i got smelled twice by a fucking police custom dog , fucking dog

, then there they go thinking i got some fucking drugs on my ass , oh well , checked so many of my shit , zzz , lol , bags

opened up , pockets , man i feel so naked. we left that freaking cursed place n went out , n bomb fucking cold , lol went back

airport again , walk around n stuff, Aussie ppl damm lazy , fucking still sleeping , its like 4am near 5 le, oh well , took a map

without scale , their map famous without scale man , zzzz , we went to the rusty's fresh market , man , weird fruits n veges are

everywhere , lol , we were looking for breakfast , but all we get are expensive breads n hot tea , holy god , lol

after we went to look for tours n settle down , slept like big fuckers , lol , then go to the nearest shopping mall to buy soem

gorceries , made us look like locals but obviously not , lol , brought magi mees n stuff , dinner then rest

day 2
===============
u know i had to wake up at 4am to wait for the tour bus arrival.
when u get up in Aus at 4am , its really dark dark dark , thankfully its not raining , its cold n nice , lol
we were there 3.30am , bomb so early , chatting n scolding , lol , there 4am , the bus came , we were so surprised man ,

AUSSIE ARE DAMM ON TIME , or should we say ang mo are always punctual , fuck man , i feel so disgrace for asians n ppl

like myself , lol , heres something for u , cheers to all the ppl who isnt late , hehe
i juz found out tat i got car-sickness , man i sux , lol , i brought some chocolate bars as they were the least expensive n enough

to haf for a quick break so as to quiet down my stomach. the bus went round to collect the ppl who booked the same tour as

us , we nid to go to a place called Mareeba 90 minutes bus trip from Carins.
we were so excited , cant wait to watch the sunrise from the hot air ballon.
we watched as they set up the hot air ballon , man its a tedious job , very , we got on the ballon , the person-in-charge of the

ballon teaches us how to position ourselves when we are landing or when he called the command, hehe
after tat we FLEW , YES FLEW , HOLY MY LEGS ARE TREMBLING , its the feeling of trill , exciting yet very afraid and yet

not backing down , lol , holy , i cant explain man , we watched the lands as the distance grew , hoyl fuck i thought to myself i

am up in the air , n high , lol, we didnt managed to watch the sun rise but hey we did photo-ed some super chio 5 star rated

sun rays , its super damm nice , now then i know wats sun rays , lol , it hit the clouds n disppear below it , damm nice , wat we

see from ground lvl or feel are juz sun light , nothing really cool tou , seen so many till i drop and become more daring , its

cold when ur high up , and it doesnt help when the weather in Carins is 20-24 , hehe , we saw the structures of the farmlands ,

different shades of brown n green n how ppl make full use of their land , dude its square yes square , lol, they used it to farm

tou , as we are lowed , we saw some kangerous , wild ones , damm interesting to watch as they hop n stand up to see weird

creatures like us high up n staring at them , cameras and video cam on hands , lol

we went to Mareeba for ballooning and ate breakfast at a local farm
in it are some kangeroos , cows , horses , many ppl lived in a cavana
its like a small van wif some living facilities
well tats our first half day
damm i am typing too much , let me try to remember wat i did , oh we went snorkling in the afternoon
Carins is famous for their coral reefs , its actually called The Great Barrier Reefs , its big n real big
we went to a place called Green Islands , its the 2nd time i did snorkling , my brother first timer , gonna teach him how to but

hey even a kid knows how to so i refuses to teach him any shit , lol
we got our gear n head off to the water n oh we went there by ferry , took us 30 or so minutes , aint sure forgotten , it juz sux

being in a boat n u cant go outside cos its so fucking cold, its cold coz of the wind , oh well

its always fun doing snorkling , so many pretty japanese on the same boat as us , and 1 jap male he got this dunno wat , n there

he is lying down there , he cant move his damm fingers , n after like 10 minutes , he nid to breathe throught this mask , oh

well , such a pity to come here n got this kinda shit , zzz

hope hes ok tou , oh well , never gonna see him again , besides hes male ya & i aint gay
well the return trips i felt asleep outside of the boat , lol , cuz we were so wet , but after a while its like having urself in a dry

cleaner , all my stuff dries up , lol , now u know how big the wind was , holy

first day => car sickness , heights , sea-sick , holy fuck
lol i am afraid of many things , now i know i am a fucking wimp , man , lol

well tat will conclude the 2nd day , hehe , of cos at nite we cooked magi mee n stuff like tat
the stuff there in Aus is really exp but u did be surprise if i tell u they sell 2 litres of coke for AUSD 89c which is
now lets do some maths
25% of 89 = a
total cost in sg = 89 + a
go figure out urself , lol

oh yea 1 simple meal will cost u around 7.90 , if cheapskate 1 will be mac , lol , compared to here , mac is mid-class , stalls are

cheapskate , zzz , cheapskate as in below mac's cost , example $2.50 chicken rice hehe
there oso nv sell chicken rice 1 xD , not tat i am a fan or something , Carins dun haf things like chinatown , but hell lot of sushi

stalls as there are quite many japanese there

day 3
=============
we went white water rafting , our raft guide is irish , hes 26 yrs old funny guy
we were in a raft wif him , +2 japanese ladies and 1 japanese guy
the 2 girls are 30 and 33 the 1 who is 33 is on top of me in the picture we took , tats the pix when we finished 2 parts of our

rafting , lol

man lemme tell u this , rafting is so fucking nice n fun , lol
anyway , we woke up very early too , very , think around 5am or something , oh yeah btw Aus is 2 hours ahead of us ,

meaning now 5pm , there 7pm already , oh well , and ITS DARK at around 5pm , zzz , no wonder their shops closes at

5.30pm , and opens at 9-10am , and tats not an excuse , lol

ok back to rafting.

we were asked to sign a death paper something lidat , lol
then we were taught how serious we protect n survive ourselfs
after tat we went to a place nearby

we strip naked n wore life jacket , helmets , we head towards the raft n holy its freezing when there isnt any clothes around ur

body , lol , tats why we are called warm blooded shit

oh b4 i forgot its a white water river in tully n they call it the tully river , near 80 minutes from Carins to tully

n in there i jumped from a near 3 storey high rocks into the super duper damm cold ass water , lol , and we are asked to go in

the water for quite some time , lol , oh well , get used to the cold , xD

raging thunder is the company who supervised the tour , gj guys

day 4
===========

we went to dain tree rain forest wif Adam our tour guide

Nothing much here to say actually except when u enter the forest , mosiqutoes will say welcome lunchie , or something lidat

xD , well the forest scenery are decent , we saw some birds etc Casawaries , not sure if its spelled lidat , its a big bird , looks like

emu or obstrich but wif a blue face , and weird thingy on top of its head , lol

we seen some wild life crocs , wild pigs/boars ruling 1 of the island , 1 BABY croc , damm its so fun and rare to see 1 , lucky

me n last but not elast its fucking raining , lol , walking the forest , cruising the water , raining realli sux , hehe

billy tea is 1 of the activities we do there , 1 of the guide pulled of a iron boiler n swing it like some fire-dancer 3 times as if its

brewing tea , so there u go tats Billy tea for u guys , the routes there

oh and we saw an island which really looks like a croc juz out of a water , lol , damm nice

ok i am forgetting hell lots of stuff , zzz , my bro is making the video now , lol , might haf to wait a while , so there u go tats

our stay in Carins , i will write more on other places some other day , lol

Melbourne n sydney are more to scenery places , fun are in Carins

day 5
=============

we hang around in Carins Central which is the Main shopping mall near our Southern Cross Apartments and then fly off to

Melbourne =)

We reached Melbourne at night , we checked in n run around the country feeling super damm cold , the difference is like

2-5 degree celius n we realli feel the cold , lol , its different !!!

i remembered we ate dinner at a shop called => Lord Of the Fries
they are elites in fries , lol , they got like 8 sauce to go wif the fries , damm nice n the fries really isnt too salty and is damm big

n thick , lol , not like fries in mac >_< , 3 times better i can say , lol

we stayed at Uni Lodge , i spent the 5 days in there sleeping on the floor , lol , as the bed isnt big enough for 3 ppl , its a queen

size bed , the 1 in Carins is a king size 1 , lol , oh well...

day 6
===============

well i will edit later ons , lol

2006-04-30T18:34:00.000+08:00

i am juz wondering can days pass slower ?
man suddenly my brother is coming back home to stay , holy man , lol

meaning there will be 1 more ppl , 1 more desktop , a whole lot of shitting and bunch of clothes , hehe

i muz admit tat different ppl balance this fucking world , well i was clearing soem stuff so my bro's stuff can replace their space XD

and bomb i found a book out of nowhere , fuck my foolish brain man , always forgetting things which is to dearful to me , man , anyway inside the book , contain some personal stuff...its the girl named lene , well shes mix blood and shes the girl i know from kindergarden , then up to sec 2, we became a couple , bah bah all those wonderful things u do as a couple , sec 3 , their family decided to go to Canada and settle down , nack to their home-town. bomb there goes everything , we still chat n yeah the time zone realli sux.

chatting still goes on but u know the feeling isnt right , whenever i wanted to talk to her i haf to liek wait till 4am...theres juz this distance n soon enough , she juz disappear in my life

ah inside the book was a song i once composed , as u know i am well quite good in changing lyrics to scold ppl , lol , maybe i can born wif it u know genes >_<
i haf send to some of my friends , hope it will bring some feelings to ur loved ones , cherish them yeah

and beside is a picture i drew on the spot for some1 knowing shes sad , well i know her from a game , oh here goes , hehe , pls smile more , dun be sad n get drunk almost everyday like i was last time.

we will be going to Cairns , somewhere in Sydney , well lets see , still finding hotels which is a bad sign , lol , haiZ

do not assumpt wat u didnt see , do not believe all tat u heard , do not see the surface but the depth , and the insider joke for shox , juan and ying => do not speak of the evil colors

u trip over a wireless phone
u stared at the orange juice can cuz its says concentrate
u are trapped in a room wif no door

i feel like changing this layout , lol
A space to put a space for my drawing n pictures
A space to put my links
A space for the Shout Out Box
A space for my blog entries
A space for my history
A blog without scrollbar , lol as in the main blog , so its juz 1 scroll to everything , man is tat even possible , oh well , lol

2006-04-22T14:30:00.000+08:00

bah bah bah, sad but true, man

gei ta yi chi ji hui , ye gei zi ji yi ge ji hui

lol dot eh , hehe

been quite busy these few days , some gathering from both sides , see i told u , sometimes and somehow different side of my friends ALWAYS jio me out during the same time , man , lol

i juz chated wif yusuf , man , lol , hes juz a good guy , friendly & nice , hehe
for the ppl out there wondering hows he been

well hes studying in weth university and at 2007 will be leaving singapore to oman his home-country...hehe

*******************************************************
first we went to a steamboat wif jason,his gf, alien , da mao , ying
- man i hate taking out crab meat, those plastics , man they sux
- lalala , we played satay soccer , whoever loses is term-ed pig head and bomb the winner goes to da mao and alien XD , wahahahha

*******************************************************
went to a movie "Eight Below" wif eh lemme think , june, shox, ying, juan , da mao , alien
- man that movie make me wanna cry , as time goes by , my tears are getting easier to fall , or izzit those directors are getting better , damm
- 2 scary scenes which made me said wtf in my heart , lol , i shouldnt list them or i would spoil the fun movie and recommand ppl to watch it , go dude , whatcha waiting for , bleah

*******************************************************
then yesterday went dinner wif june , shox, ying , ah zu, jason , his gf, juan, da mao , alien , think for 5 seconds , ok i didnt miss out any1 , lol
- its a catch catch feast , lol , seeing how ying wants the catch catch toy , ah zu immediately changed soem coins and trying to catch 1 of those for her =)
- the dinner was a little disappointing tou but it turned out ok cuz shox is beside me , lol , or should i said i kept close to him >_< , hey dude i aint gay man , its juz tat there isnt enough tables so we are sitted very far from the other group , hehe , so didnt get enough chances to talk to the others, update a bit

*******************************************************

i learned 1 thing from june on the way back home
"we shouldnt spell out all of the things in details"
tats the conclusion i come out with

ppl like to put a twist to ur words or putting words into ur mouth so guys , care when ur speaking , yup or u would get own-ed , gg man

and i know its true tat i shouldnt analysis ppl's lovey dovey stuff ,lol but but but every1 around me juz didnt agree on tat , man , ok juz fuck myself , i am a bad guy

oh yea i will be going to Aus , sydney melbourne for 10 or more days , lets juz say no more sky diving but diving , lol , we will be diving in the most beautiful coral reef and its the biggest in the world man , fuck this shit AND WITH AN oxygen tank , holy god dude

how the fuck i swim wif a frog leg and an heavy ass oxygen tank behind my back , man , juz visualizing is bad enough , hope i can do it =)

in other words we will be experimenting the marine lifes and whewe waterfalls , my favourite, the roaring smooth waters , k the description doesnt match , lol , but wadever , i juz love waterfalls

3 more weeks to Aus , my mum sint giving me any income , damm man , shes out of job, lol , now i am surviving on my ang bao money , lol , oh ya i juz brought a razer mouse , holy shit , lol , its like godlike , maybe cuz my 5 year old mouse sux like hell and cant move very precisely , ok fuck that mouse, hes out , lol , juz love my new mouse

and juz let u guys know , i dun really spend a lot of money of when i do spend money , i will spend a whole lot at once , lol oh well tats me

damm so many things to update , fuck this , 7th sep , i will be going to NS , lol
yeah man , military centre 2 , same as shox , oh well , i dunno the situation over there , if same camp as shox , holy god ass , lol fate , destiny , wadever , lol

if u managed to read all these , ding dong ding dong , u juz got slenes's Ai De Yong Bao XD , GG

2006-04-17T01:09:00.000+08:00

a sad song indeed , wif my knowledge of my jap , lol

all i know is the song is about

when theres nobody , the star's light....
u nid to be strong n forget
pls notice that my heart is here waiting for u
the feeling will not changed

i am sure that my waiting will paid off someday

oh well , tats my knowledge i guess , haha , its a nice song =D

well dota has more n more noobs eh , man , the gaming world will soon be destroyed , lol

oh ya i will be going to Aus next month i guess wif my family , this time wif my brother n my mum XD

first time travelling wif my bro , oh well we will see how it goes , lol
nid to find a motel there as we haf soem few time during the trip n had to extend to make used of the few days we got =)

every1 got their letter except me , lol, oh well, i dun wanna go to NS in the 2nd in-take , and when i go in , i hope my friends will see me there XD

ok then , back to reality...

2006-04-02T00:47:00.000+08:00

sometimes i can say i lead a lonely life...yes true enough

if u ask me hey dont u feel anything ?
i can only said tat i am used to it man
going home alone since primary 1 , getting food from the cooker whenever lunch has arrived...

managing urself , playing at the play grounds wif strangers around the same age
having to handle the stress of having answered questions like , where is ur father n stuff liek that u know

lol , i can tell u , i am mature then most of the ppl i know , well not many ppl i know but oh well , lol , mature enough

i think differently from ppl , some of my last classmates said they wanan earn $10k a month , i like was dude are u serious , so much money for wat

for me , i only wanna have enough salary , enjoy the stuff i do n at the same time earn a living out of it , haf a nice family n tats it , i can die , lol

sometimes i felt that i can live alone without making use of my friend's help, sometimes i cant , i dunno

********************************************************************************

theres some1 whose caring for me right now, yes but fuck myself for thinking of other ppl which i am suppose to forget , fuck this shit , i dunno , i am
truthful but some part of me juz wanna keep the memories wif u , its like a nightmare haunting u bringing u flashback of ur life.

and its not u, i already forgotten that matter, lol, since it was so clear... its others stuff

nowadays i begin to doubt the "brothers" of my life , they would suggest something then when their girl friend bring up soemthing , they go along wif it n neglect us "brothers" , lol

i dunno what to say man, these years of friendship , ya given in for a women ?

maybe i should scold myself first actually , i dont even know their birthdays , holy crap , lol , aaa sometimes i hate myself for not taking care of stuff liek these...

2006-03-21T15:17:00.000+08:00

ppl seriously nid to be more direct, pls pls pls , lol

well some ppl chat wif me , i thought they were like so nice as to chat wif me but in the end => my feelings tell me that they were juz after something

lets juz take guan wei , my primary sch friend , he chat wif me then in the end he asked do u know others de results

then i was like , so u spent 8 minutes chatting time wif me , actually u only wanna know their results ? is that so ?

tats why i dun like ppl wif good grades, they wanna compare , compit, oh well , not my style man

i aint gonna tell other ppl my results except my brother dave , lol
in fact i told him yesterday

if u wanna know my results , JUST ASK , no nid to go beat around the bush

ah wadever , i will juz end it here

2006-03-19T18:28:00.000+08:00

i am not as strong as ppl think
i am just pretending
i really juz want to be saved
but i dont tell anyone and juz manage by myself
and for some reason ppl rely on me
so i kind of juz go along wif it

i had no choice but do be this way
but i really wanted to depend on someone too

well the above is taken from shinigami no ballad 3
there goes ur copy right XD

its a very touching anime man, well i found it true, indeed very true

memories keep coming back, i remember my leader saying, i cant relying on anyone, yes i know that, even tou ur trying ur best...
oh well i realli dun wanna elaborate it anymore le, sorry

aaaa the season's calling, lol, results will be out soon, on tuesday, i juz hope ppl will not ask me for my results, i wun either unless u guys asked me, maybe i should keep myself offline ,lol giving there no place to trade info , lol

ok i guess, more n more ppl are getting internet , even kids aged 12 ? 10 ?
surprisingly they know how to use the net ,lol , can u believe it but they kinda sux in the game so oh well there goes the pros , lets welcome the noobs

lets juz say bloggers has the right to write down their opinuion, ah dunno how to spell. ppl nid a place to escape their stress, reality, so oh well, or lets juz say this , dun voice out something which will affect the country ?

oh well wadever...laws are making ppl sick of living, cant even chew gums in this country, lame crap, thx to those "act cool" ppl who chew their gum n spit it like their father own those grounds, damm it, becoz of ur actions, the government ban the sale of gums here...man this sux

and yaya lets hope for world peace, like i care...

2006-03-11T21:14:00.000+08:00

u are cute when you laugh
u are cute when you are wrong and dun wanna admit

but all of these cuteness i cant contain inside my heart

admitting that makes it even worst

anyway u guys should watch shinigami no ballad , its like so nice hm how to say , its kinda like a love story wif a theme in it , i loved the first episode A LOT !!!

juz finished watchin the second episode , so sad yet after watching it kinda get a sort of feeling i dunno how to say man , maybe its the strength that love give , lol

i feel like going into a relationship again , hoping this time it wun hurt again...
sure i got lots of negative shit going on within me but sure i do have some good points eh , or dun haf any , lol

oh well , think i aint going to the chalet, hey it not escaping reality ok...i already accepted it , i juz dun wanna go n face some of them , somemore i feel like i got nothing to do there, wat can i do , i dun feel like cracking any more fake jokes again...

gw got what he wanted , marcus too , nai cheng too , the others too , why decide to fake again , why decide to fake again !!!!

might as well not go , its full of fakies , i dun wanna leave anymore pleasant or unpleasant memories to u guys anymore , if he go then i dun go , i will take notice of these words , ya i know , i know i know...

i will juz go drink wif dave someday to sort of like make it up for not going to the chalet , lol , hey its a chalet only wat , wats the deal man...

hope nobody asked me yet, so far only 3 ppl asked me but i keep quiet , lol , switching to other topics, 1-2 didnt realised it yet tou , hope nobody will notice slenes is missing , haha

2006-03-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

any1 missing me in here ? lol , ok no...

its kinda boring yet sad for a guy to do housework , chores , readin books , for goodness , i have never done these in such a long time man

the last time is during secondary school days where i would clean the toilet to earn some $$$ from my mum , lol

oh well , man , juz feel like an auntie , lol , borrowing books on how to cook , can u believe tat ? slenes is trying to cook out some shit , zzzz , then in the end slenes has to end the shit by shallowing it , kinda sad , lol

anyway should i go back to the entrance
once back it will be very weird situation , yes it is
its about the bio class chalet man

1: go = weird situation , i might juz ruin the wrong thing
2: dont go = i let all my bro down , lol , specially dave, marcus
3: on the other hand , maybe it will be boring but who knows cuz we didnt party b4 yet , u will never know
4: i find it hard to talk to the other girls except for cheryl , yes i find it hard coz i already decided to not interact wif them anymore u know wat i mean
5: after the exam , i truely knows who are my friends ,who are not , so now i am realli sorry what i did to my old class dude , lol , they are the best man , they rock , bio class only cares about results so fuck this shit
6 : i realli dun feel like going , realli tou i dun nid to plan or anything lidat
7 : maybe i wanna got for the sake of going , afterall i been rotting at my bloody home
8 : when theres dave , theres beer , lol , i scare i will drink a lot then bomb fucking gone , all my complains will appear , i realli dun want that
9 : if i go confirm will tio them say again , even tou we make the relationshi very clear
10 : fucking dont go

guess its the end , i dun wanna turn back to the entrance , nah , i dont sorry

i am trying to recover the little happiness
i am trying to forget the distanced love
i am trying to live the current situation
i am trying to escape the unreal reality
i am trying to finish the unwanted business
i am trying to pursuit my fucking dreams
i am trying to improve my family relationship
i am trying to recall those days with u
the images of my friends are bcoming blur-er
maybe 1 day if i ever see ya, i might not recongonise

when something is broken
its hard to fix it
wats lost can hardly be found
those gone will never be back
its time to let go
time to finish off

2006-03-04T00:38:00.000+08:00

suddenly aint got the mood to blog, but after seeing only 7 ppl still visiting my blog , lol , i still feel tat my friends are still there to find out how i am living my life eh , lol

even after graduate or maybe boredness , lol oh well , i think i flunk my exams , when the results are out i will post it here , lol to see what the bio class has turn me into

either more nerd or slack as ever..well we will see , anyway theres a lot of misunderstanding over here , its about our class 1 of the girls , i cant tell u who but apprently she thought the deleting of her contact by me ( sorry about that ) made her feel tat the group of girls in bio class influcenced me to delete her , hey tats not true , sorry sorry i dunno the deleting of contacts can get this serious.

oh well anyway i am living like a slacker now , lol , somehow i like the way i live n somehow i hate it , ok then let me tell u guys a story

there once lived 2 foxs , 1 living in the wild , the other in a cage
the fox living in the wild has freedom but has to worry about his survival
the fox living in the cage has food but he leaks freedom
1 day both of them agreed to change places

in the end both foxes die

so the morale of the story is , try to live within ur own happiness , dun worry about the others , what others had doesnt mean it will suit u well enough
so be urself n be glad tat u are actually very happy without other extra stuff ya know , haha

well thx to the 7 ppl n i doubt i will be present at the chalet my bio class is going to haf since i have already decide to let it go, dun blame me ok ?
for the guys , we still play games together but u know my situation so dun blame me either for being such a cold sport

maybe i will be there 1 nite we will see how , lets roller blade , lol , its been a while since i do tat wif friends , its been a while....

alright then hope u viewers out there have a great life ok , haha =D
next time we can go dine together in some special places wif my old class dudes , this time round i can make it =D , IF i dun haf any dates , i hope i dun haf , if i haf i will consider ditching them ,lol cuz its been a while i guess

3 more months to NS , holy $$$$ , lol , i guess i will have to follow my destiny , for now i will juz slack like an $$$hole

take care guys

2006-02-25T02:37:00.000+08:00

everything ended today , time , friendship , exam , everything

all tat are left are memories , emotions , experience.

i wonder wat will become of me to be at home everyday doing nothing at all , mayeb its time to train up a little bit cause naffa result i got is fake , lol

oh well , yeah or maybe i should get a job but wadever it is i will wanna enjoy myself , lol

all the paper i took i aint confident in getting A , so all i can hope for are Bs , haha , well today we went for dinner so call-ed gathering dinner , oh well , 1 of the girls said if i go then she doesnt wanna go , then i immediately backoff , well does tat mean i got no feelings wif this class or group of ppl ?

i dunno , how should i prescribe this , maybe maybe , i will remember i once loved u without wanting anything in return...i didnt regret at all during tat period in fypj , juz regret not knowing how to express myself too well infront of ppl i like , tats always a problem for me and sorry of i have cause troubles , rumours and stuff gossips , haha

helping ppl without getting acknowledged , i dun mind

oh ya ppl who took the Nohari thing , lol , put ur real name lor , doesnt matter anyway , i can take comments , even negative ones , i am simple N clean in friendships , i choose my own friends , if we are realli not meant to be we aint , no nid to forced it

i am sorry , i have return all i can for u guys , we dont owe each other anymore things...even if i draw something for u guys , i wun return all tat i owe u guys so the only thing i can do is breakup , distant myself , i am a rotten apple , i dun wanna pull u guys down...sorry

i have reach the entrance of the bridge , time to see all of u guys off , there are ppl waiting for u at the other side , gd bye to some of the ppl i sent off , we might not meet again...

i wanna thx henry , zy , dave , larp , n lets see , gw , lol , thx guys , ah bo u will see me taking another sem of workload , lol

well a lot of ppl searched naruto here , lol omg !!!
others searched furniture , 1 searched fucking malay women , wow

omg all sorts of nonsence , lol , sometimes i hate singapore which is a multi-race country...oh well , if u ever do a survey on how many chinese actually hate malays u will know , if given the law doesnt sue u for being racist , trust me more than 70% of them dun like malays , i dunno , lol , maybe they got the same exp as me...

so pls , next time pls juz bring those muslims who drink beer , pls them to jail ? enforce a little justification maybe ? but who cares , government still think tat racist hormony is good , let me tell u this , its fake , very fake...

2006-02-19T15:13:00.000+08:00

i can hear radiation now , i think my ears will be gone soon...sad but true

i cant hear soft voice now , man , maybe i should stop listening to mp3 n changed to radio maybe , lol at a lower volume ,oh well

2006-02-18T08:31:00.000+08:00

i hate the situation where i got 2 sides of ppl inviting me to go out, 3 => i wanted to go out wif some of my other friends too so i got 3 sides -_-

i dun like man , due to project and exam...i hafen sleep properly for like 3 days liao, went to dave house do project report , never bath -_- so smelly , lol but lucky nobody tok about me on friday.

must i keep a smelly face so tat they dont tok about me ? haha , friday was a peaceful day. my name isnt mention anywhere except when henry told me, wat happen today , then we begin to tok , well it seems like my exam is going to turn out pretty bad , lol

i regret , i should wake dave earlier , lol , then print report liao can go le , cause henry n guys discuss , predict 4 of the questions came out -_- where by i myself predicted 6 , so if 6 + 4 , = 10 X 4 = 40 , i already got 40 / 100 , oh well

my exam will get C+ so overall i will have C+ , my GPA wun jump to 3.0 liao , lol , oh well too bad lor , then monday we will meet ms ng to know our project grade.

saying good points about u is hard for me cause i got none to say , sorry , but i will think of something good to say, lol

sorry to all the ppl to ask me out on friday , sorry sorry , AND I DUN LIKE LAST MINUTE INVITATION , i am very on 1 but to travel as far as hougang , lol , i dun haf a car...
the reason why i didnt go to any of them was i OVERSLEPT , FUCK IT

i wanted to wake up 1 but bomb i cant , i am too tired to wake up
tats all then , i hope i give u guys a good experience in ur day-to-day in poly wif me , lol...

some ppl asked me chalet for our bio class ??? i said u can try , lol...
i realli mean it, u can try

2006-02-15T18:21:00.000+08:00

wow i juz cleared my list , lol
oh well, i am officialy friendless again, haha

oh well , spying on ppl's blog is bad for health , typing names in msn nick to scold others is oso bad for health , too bad , pls stop coming here , pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls , i said many many times already , if ur not on my msn contact list , pls leave...i dun wanna have anything to do wif u

wats past has past, i dont wanna care anymore...juz tat we are not meant to be tats all...i hafen visited sembawang park in a while , juz came back from there tou , lol , my formal shoes is offically broken, died 3 years after i brought it , lol , not bad la can last 3 years

heng no more presentation le so i aint gonna need it.
i chose to escape from reality, cynthia is correct indeed , i dun wanna face u ppl anymore , i cant keep on putting a fake mask

oh well if i blog this , i will get scolded or talk-ed by ppl behind my back, but who cares , project over = friendship over = school over = no more seeing u anymore...

project presentation was disgusting, i got nervous and my tongue tied , lol , but after the 2nd slide i begin to work back on my feet =D...i wonder wat grade will i get and what grade will they get , their work realli sux man , not that mine was good or something , i realli sux more n more when doing team-work stuff , lol
i cant produce the correct GO database , sorry about tat , but i edited the records for u le , yet ur code still cant work , so dun blame me there.

for the protein , i already populated all the stuff correctly , so dun blame me if ur search engine sux...sorry for being honest , tats what i felt , if i were the teacher , i will fail u guys , but i am not so relax , if i am the teacher i will give myself a C ,so i realli wonder wat can i get , maybe i will get B or B+

as mention above , i didnt meant to hurt u or something , i am juz expressing wat i realli feel. i dunno how u guys know my blog address , oh well but i dun care. after this project is finished , u should know we will no longer be friends anymore. pretty simple cause we dun tok at all, i dun like u , u dun like me , u got bad breath and i dun haf...now i feel kinda bad now cause u lend me sun yan zi's cd and offered me sweets. but seriously from the first day tat day in lecture hall , i told u 2 dun sux or i will not respect u, sorry here once again , we are not meant to be, yes we cant even be friends...for the form i got from ms ng , i didnt write anything negative about u all so dun worry about tat 1...

i am a guy who say out wat he realli feel and write it down here and will always wear a fake mask to school showing EVERYONE, yes every1. sorry i lied all this while, it isnt simple but i did it, sorry... we do choose our own friends right so dun blame me, i am not saying i am too good so u cant be my friend , in fact i realise this => i am not fit to be ur friend so i merely take the first step out of this little "friendship" thing tat we got

i have had too much plotting , scheming , i hate this , i dun plot , i dun scheme , i fucking lie , yes i lie a lot, lie to get assignments n resources from u guys , i did it so tat i dun fail or even to score high marks , i dun like to score high marks remember ? i juz dun like studies in poly , i remember when i was still an innocent kid in sec sch , everyday after sch , we will do play badminton , do sports , go down chong pang there walk walk see girls , see fishball noodle plus desert , lol i missed my sec sch...

now i dun even know how i am going to face u guys in the graduation ceremony, i wun even say "hi"...i love to escape , dream , doing things u guys often seem as useless . lol , well tats me , i draw in my free time , listen to music when i am stress , watched tv when i am real bored , random scold ppl when i am sad , staring at the moon can make my day , walking, sitting around parks are wat i do when i am having period..my period does come quite often

ws asked me , have u ever been ur true self ever once , i told her no , i never show my true self to other ppl. i am not the funny guy ,lame guy , nice guy tat u sometimes see in school

i am a selfish , badass, rude, evil guy next door...i dun help stupid ppl, yet clever ppl often do not nid my help. i cant promise the sky but i can promise u tat i am not a good guy

my life goals are to support my family , maybe build a family of my own , watch my kid grow up and die...last but not least visit lots n lots of famous city...i realli wanna go switerland , i wanna visit the famous lake , waterfall in USA , forget wat it is called, visit china the great walls , visit paris for the effiel tower, visit africa for the huge grassland , mongolia for the hot weather n wild feel , taiwan for the theme parks n food, italy for the culture. see i am dreaming again...

see i am avoiding problems now again, i should be combining my codes so tat tml i can stay in school to do the class diagrams and seq diagrams , lol , i realli sux as a team member , sorry... from the first day u called me n said whether which team u wanna be in , i told u dun follow us or u will die. well now tat u have suffer enough , i am sorry i say things i didnt do... this project if dun have u , i think this team can go die liao , i totally agree wif them , without u , we will not be here, its selfish of me to not let u be in the team tat called u to join them. ur mask is better than mine from wat i observe , juz tat u dun wanna spoil everything , tats y u didnt scold them, i know, ur only true friend is hui min, yes i know , after all this shit , u managed to survive , if i ever got the chance i will say u deserve an A juz like wat i did in FYPJ. if its me i dun see any reason why i should help u debug an easy programe juz as tat, search engine doesnt even have validation , search for regulated proteins oso cannot work , i got nothing to say , go code code code then is hardcode , its my fault partly yes i agree but u realli should hardcode juz liek lawrence tham said hardcore are only for non-IT ppl , u guys are trained 3 years , if u cant even do a simple j2ee programme , i can say tat the 3 years u have spent here are wasted

i am sorry i put on a mask but who isnt , who hafen lied in poly, tats realli impossible... i can smile wif u or at u but in actually life , i hate u as hell , i can , not a problem...i do sometimes encourage ppl , cheer them up , lame wif them , tats becoz i got nothing better to do...

ppl said tat i eat soft dun eat hard(in chinese) , yes i agree but depends on the who is using the soft...i know u hate me too, but no choice u same team as me so muz tolerate, now tat this is over , ok on friday its officially over , i should do wat i am suppose to do , being ur friend juz budens u

i have ppl i can talk to in poly too, some of them in this class, unlike u , ur "friends" are always on their mask when facing u , u should know it , i am kinda angry to letting u scold me , lol , wat i said are facts , u can choose to listen or juz ignore it , i dun backstab when having face-to-face conversations , i always do tat in my blog , if u said wow hes so fake wtf , i will agree wif u , lol , even if i disagree , i will agree wif u . i can actually role-play a lot of stuff , speak english 1 , speak chinese 1 , speak hokkien 1 , if u ask me wat language i speak the most , i can proudly said MIX , lol , juz cause i speak to too many types of ppl , i am getting mix-ed up , so i speak half half , if u speak to me in english , i will speak same.

how i wish i can make this blog private so tat i can choose who reads it , who not
i realli am very amazed by how ppl face each other EVEN WHEN they dun like each other
for example A dun liek B but A still treat B quite good but he hates him , then i realise how good these ppl can be, lol, looks like i am the 1 in danger , cause i say everything inside my heart , dun like i say , u sux i say , only thing is i dont do it behind ur back

2006-02-13T18:49:00.000+08:00

wat does friends mean to me , sometimes i actually ask myself
are they some1 who when we nid help , we call them ?
or when we are bored we find them

either its this or that , its still call making use of... -___-

ok then, when u smile to a friend's joke, do u smile juz becoz its funny shit or u wanted to further make use of him/her so u laugh the shit out

i wish i have a friend who point out all my bad points infront mof my fucking face rather than "friends" who fucking fake it, well 2 more weeks to reveal the evilness of reality , lol

actually after project presentation we can end this shit immediately, ok then , after wed i nid to sort out the list of my msn, i really nid to delete some of them man , PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS DELETE ME , DUN GIVE ME FACE MAN , i dun nid it , juz delete me if u think we aint suited to be friends , dun juz leave my name there to add to ur msn collections

maybe someday u should do this =>
Collections collection = null;
collection.sort(myListOfMsnContact);

ok wadever , after sorting u guys realli should pick out useless msn contacts
and juz delete the shit out of them...
its sad to say the truth, but if u ever see me offline for like 2 weeks, I AM NOT OFFLINE , I HAVE ALREADY DELETE THE OUT OF U, haha

Conclusion => i do choose my friends

ok today com skills, i think i am starting to die liao , i got liek 12 marks WRONG, and is confirm 1 , haiz , oh well , i went out saw marcus n boom i told him i will get B without even thinking , OK I WAS WRONG , afetr the -12 marks , i think around C+ , my overall is B- , lets see , C PLUS B- ==> B , oh not bad , lol , well if its C+ , haiz , lol

so far i will have 1 module to get A which is the Mr see's module algo , lol
others i juz waiting to get B or even C , looks like the D student is back , i call myself D student becoz i hate ppl wif high results...i juz dun like them la , dun ask why...tats why i am kinda like suffering in this class , lol , so many As student, holy !!! , i can score well de actually but i dun want , juz wanna be a normal guy who doesnt get recoginition , aa dunno how to spell , lol wadever

however I DID STUDY OK , well study for the sake of studying, recently maybe my classmates are too stress or wat , lol , they seldom joke around liao...especially jokes OF ME -___-

izzit the times of fun n laughter has ended along wif poly life ? or are they realli too busy ? eh let me list what exams and the expected grades i will get , lol

Bio => now is C+ , hopefully i get B
Database => now is B- , hopefully => B+
Project => now is B+ , hopefully => A or B+
Algo => now is A , hopefully => god like pls give me A
Com skills => now is B- , hopefully B
Bio perl => now is B , hopefully B

wow if the expected results are these , lol , i think i scored the best in my 3 years here in nyp , lol, ok la let me dream a bit ma

is tat all ? oh well cant remember n tats all i guess , i didnt expect ying to send me a com skills tips , wow thx man =D i really needed tat, lol

remember if u still see me as online on msn means i didnt delete u , and IF i ever delete u , pls stop coming to my blog , pls do stop coming , i will only blog things about u if i interact wif u , lol , i used to blog a lot of my classmates but not now cuz we didnt interact as much as we do when we are studying , lol
sososo , after poly means i will end this blogging stuff ? well MAYBE , lol

maybe at tat time , i will blog "how i see ppl, things , life , my opinions on certain events" rather than hey i hate the fucking crap out of this dude...

haha we will see , i agree wif swirly eyes tat if we blog normal stuff like day-day stuff , where u eat wat u do n stuff lidat , its boring as hell , its a sad thing he stopped blogging , i actually enjoy reading his blog, lol , now tat he has stopped ( a pity ) however , i had him on my list but we didnt tok AT ALL , lol , so u know wats next

ok then , i think i will start to code a bit , ah bo wed u see how i die

2006-02-09T18:19:00.000+08:00

let me start wif this , if ur not on my msn contact , pls leave immediately pls, plsssssss

or if u insist on reading it , i cant do much ya except to ask u , dun make my blog a topic of urs when ya chatting , seriously its bad for health man to do tat behind some1's back

i dun wanna point out who but IF U READ THIS , u know who i mean , YES U , pls leave now , i dun wanna have anything to do wif u and i know u wish for the same , telling ppl we are incompatible , i mean its ok but do u have to tell it to every1 ? i dun mind actually but pls dont come to this blog...

i wanna have my own space and knowing tat u reading it juz spoils my mood to blog n actually write my feelings here too , so pls

seems like a lot of ppl search for naruto and come to my blog , lol , funny man , now then i know the reason , its becoz i used a naruto mp3 as background music ,lol , oh well , i dun haf it anymore man , coming here only lets u listen to it and ur not gonna download anything from here , so too bad i guess , =D

too bad i cant ban ppl from coming here and i dun wanna change the address as ppl suggested , nah, i like this namespace...

hey work harder for ur A ok molecular, i know u got wat grade , many ppl are racing u , they said this zui zhe ni da , means racing u for better results , lol

well tat "many ppl" , of cos i am not included , lol, good luck....i juz hope tml i can do well for topic 9 - 11 database quiz , i dont seem to have the mood to do project coding today , juz didnt , headache n lack of sleep are stopping me from doing so , lol

2 more weeks , lol , i wonder how many friends i actually will be left wif, oh well , cant wait to find out , lol

2006-02-07T12:27:00.000+08:00

whenever i blog here , my troubles will be gone
whenever i got problems, i will blog

so its kinda like a combo isnt it =D
which means this blog is where i bomb my saddness n stuff, lol
so dun be surprised when all u read are sad stuff about some1's life

ok lets get started...first off HEADACHE !!!!
i fucking hate this, out of all the things

i dun like flu n headache...
well i woke up at 8am today, wondering what i should do, lol
then shit happen i saw an sms , then i begin to start doing project
sometimes i juz wished for complete silent when i do coding, oh well
so far i managed to do part of the protein details extraction
i will post till here first, i will have more, lol, maybe then i will edit this post

well ok i went to watched i not stupid too , lol , it was very emotional movie man for me at least , i was laughing most of the times n i drop tears when i saw this part " SPOILER ALERT "

well when the kid said i save all my money to buy 1 hour of ur time, i even sell all my pokemon cards...

well i am sorry actually , i went for the movies n kinda ignore project , i actually felt bad in the mrt towards shaw house , oh well...

sorry once again......this time i am being irresponsible

2006-02-05T21:16:00.000+08:00

being able to see u everyday
being near to u
being here yet u dun understand anything
even if i greet ya good morning 100 times
nothing will change
my feelings will nv reach u

when u are there, sometimes seeing u
all my worries fade away

kizuite kudasai
hereby wishing upon a 100 falling stars
tat u got ur grades =D

maybe someday we will meet , who knows
3 weeks to the entrance of the bridge

ws said i am kind, lol, well sometimes i am
doing things within my limit
well my secondary sch motto is "All tat we can, we will"
damm see how secondary school affects ur fucking life, lol

tats y i hate ppl who doesnt help when the request is made
yup hate...this is wat i call yuan ze de wen ti

like they said helping others is equal to building a fucking thing
ok i am spoiling it, lets juz count down to the day of our EXAMS , lol

tml i got a test n here i am thinking whether to go to the movies on tuesday wif my old class dudes , lol, should i go ? i already reject them quite a lot , damm , this kinda feels bad...

well let me think , tml will be meeting ying so still ok =D
tml then tell her my answer ba

2006-02-04T13:48:00.000+08:00

in this area
i am realli new
in this era
i will be call noob
is my love too innocent
or izzit too deep

i love to see u smile
i love to see u laugh
it hurts me to not tok to ya
it hurts me to tok to ya and it hurts

u told me to leave u alone
u told me ya cool to be alone
now its lightning to my heart
now its flaming within it

it is striking
it is engulfing

this is love

Too many ppl are visiting my blog , its scary
so i might write down some poem or rather a pack of words
so tat ppl wif poor english or poor understand might not realise wat i am blogging
or pointing out my feels towards the things tats happening around me

2006-01-31T01:01:00.000+08:00

suddenly got this feeling to go your house or even ask ya to visit mine , oh well...... kinda sad yeah , lol , been busy these few days , bai nian and stuff , thing special this year , new year i do coding at home -_-

lets juz say fuck this nonsense , lol, graduation is around the corner , hehe , maybe i should put a new song b4 i get too busy and ingore this blog XD

well actually my current poly class got lots of problem 1 , i still there blur blur dunno wats going on , lol , even if i do i will fake fake a bit , act blur, sian , nowadays those rumors getting worst , lol , all can yawn , everytime they wanna shoot me or lose me , then they use this rumor , then i no word to say lor

i stand there let them shoot -_-, so ke lian 1, haizzz, then i told them its impossible n stuff liek that , i mean realli la , our thoughts are realli too different le...n 1 more most important thing is she got other ppl in her heart le , haha , sssoooo we are juz normal friends who quarrel a little more times then others only ma...

oh well my class realli too stress liao la , lol , nothing to make fun of ma, then see me so ke lian stress me -_-

sometimes i dun like this class oso la , they too fake liao , they are all into studies , then can wear a fake mask to ask u for assignment n stuff , well to be honest i oso lidat la , but but but i wun ask from ppl i dun like , and if i ever get refused , i will not ask a 2nd time. oh ya i seriosuly dunno why ppl will ask me for assignment , maybe out of desperation ? lol. all i can do is modify ppl's code n made them mine...

oh well, nowadays i think my gam ness wif my class is decreasing , few ppl send me their assignment leh , this 1 , for the first assignment which is ORF , opening reading frame assignment , got many examples, ppl's code,, but now , lloll , oh well , then at first i wanted to keep a low profile , i always do u know

but dunno why tats always not the case , i juz voice out my dislikes n some ppl actually respect tat but well i aint sure , lol , i juz know the relationship between me n some of the ppl in the class is decreasing , lol , but anyway this might be the last assignment liao , so to be evil , i can say , leech finish this then can tear off the fake mask liao ? lol , some ppl are like this , does tat apply to me u say , well MAYBE, highly possible , i might still keep in contact wif some of the ppl in the class... for those who doesnt see me , catch me on msn ok ? haha , if u can still see me means i am ur friend if u like 3 - 4 weeks nv see me online , then most probably i have deleted u , so delete me as well =D cuz i dun wish to be friends wif ya , so keeping u as my contact is juz a waste of space , i am not like those ppl who add n add n add then when they actually do business they can use their friend-portal to start off their market , haha

now now lets do this once in a while , haha

i was happy when i see u smile
ur smile dissolve the saddness within me
graduation is near
yet its painful to wait
i wanna believe i can let go
but the wounds are too deep
the simple desire of u juz
looking at me noticing me
sorry the above 2 might sound a bit pervertic, oh well fuck it
lets cross this river together
the only thing i can
is to send u across the entrance
knowing that thhere is some1 waiting
waiting for u on the other side
even if its painful to see u leave
it will remain as a warm memory
i understand its the procress
not the outcome tat are precious
sorry i forced my feelings onto u
cuz i cant control
control the feelings which
i once had out of confusion
the feelings inside me shouldnt be release
once its out ppl will judge
making me worst then what we used to see

alright lets end this i guess

oh yeah , Happy New Year to all of u guys =D
n some1 searched NARUTO in yahoo and visited my blog

WOW , lol , how u got here dude , i mean naruto lor , lol , maybe its stuck somewhere in my blog, lol

2006-01-26T18:09:00.000+08:00

juz now 6pm i am eating dinner duck rice XD , sitting there eating , listening to mp3, suddenly thought of the things i have went through...

izzit the bet we made ? tats why u didnt score well in Bio ? i really hope it isnt or i will be very guilty , very...well but thinking isnt very good for health especially when u cant predict wat will happen, so this kinda thinking will only killl ur brain cells.

realli i really hope it isnt the cause of the bet...btw we are still in hostile mode for those who asked n are concerned

well on the way back to yck mrt from nyp, i saw my old classmates, lol, as usual greeted them n stuff , update them a bit on my fucking sem. then suddenly i dunno who to follow , lol , in the end i follow my current class home, =D

but i hope my relationship wif the old class isnt turning bad =D , we still good friends, help is welcome whenever it is...

thinking of it , i have met a few guys i can look upon to when i nid help , its good actually , after poly , i can still have them as friends =D...

2006-01-25T21:30:00.000+08:00

i hate to say this, nobody like the truth , i sure doesnt wanna talk about it

hell no, i juz cant say it , oh well , its taking effect now on week 12 , lol

fuck this , i hate it

2006-01-24T22:12:00.000+08:00

whenever something happens i will go to your blog , lol

oh well , maybe i should juz quit this blog stuff n move on , after poly then continue here

i realli should actually , oh well, today's presentation went quite well tou

never expect ying to wish me luck , haha , tank you ne , =D

lets juz said when its time to let go, let go , dont escape , escape will only let u live 15 minutes more , and not forever ,we cant escape problems forever

welcome back to reality

2006-01-21T22:43:00.000+08:00

i hate answers like dunno, not sure, maybe

when the answer asked only require a yes-no

its either yes or no man , lol

oh well , i do give this kinda answer but i will normally add in i confirm wif u later or something , if i nv add in means the answer is no and i dun wanna reject u straight

well maybe tats the case i faced here , oh well

hope my database can be set up , lol , before presentation =D

hope the biojava code i am gonna write later will work the way i want it to be

2006-01-16T18:08:00.000+08:00

well i wun be posting for quite some time i guess ,its been a very very very busy busy busy week , lol , more busy ones are coming , week 12 realli sux , haha...well i am eating my dinner now so thinking of blogging some stuff at the same time, haha

well i juz hope my project can go well , haha , sometimes girls realli is confusing , hehe , was copying some stuff for the algo module , then my partner suddenly took the paper awayfrom me , haizz , no time liao still play wif me , lol, then when i ask her to help me debug some stuff , she like not very happy , lol, oh well , dun understand girls at all , oh well , anyway she only tell me part of the problem , then i got a little bei song , so i went back n cool it off then i asked zeng yuan to help me double check if my analyse is correct , then together we solve the shit , lol , thx dude , well that is just the first step , i got like 5 steps more to do then finish the settting up of the database , haha , jia you man !!!!!!

the results i got are mostly B , C , A , D , a lot of Bs , haha , well well so far havent gotten any D but but but i mustnt be proud , ah bo can die sia , lol , again i must thx this current class , i gotten a lot better , they are bunch of good guys in this class man , lol , most of them are good to hang out with , haha , love ya guys , they make this class a more working class but not nerdy ar , lol , they good at sports too , cool , good place to be with , good final year i have , hehe , well tats all i guess , haf fun =D cause its project time -_-

2006-01-13T18:58:00.000+08:00

aaa to update u guys , my comp spoil , lol , went for maintence , it hasnt come back yet but i like this laptop of my brother's, lol , even tou its kinda heavy, bulky, oh well

juz finished watching the final episode of suzuka , damm nice !!!!!

every1 should juz watch the damm anime, =D

well, seems like i am still stuck in that time , lol , are we still going to ingore each other like we have always been or what ,i duno , lol i realli dunno wat will happen in 6 weeks time, haha...

i cant love any1 but oh well , and my class guys are saying more of shui and me so it kinda sux even more , this is bad shit , wadever...

btw i cut my hair , lol , its short n real short XD , well some ppl like my current hair style , some said for the 3 years i have known u in poly , this hair fits the best on u , so i dunno man , lol

if a bond is broken , will i repair it ? the answer is no , but eventually i will let it cool , if i feel very uneasy , i will try to confront the other party, but oh well , from the day we stop saying things to each other , i stopped looking at u from behind , whenever i think of u , i stopped myself from thinking, whenever some1 talked about u , i look away refusing to listen , yup tats wat i do and i know i am juzt escaping , yup tats all i do , lol

i muz finish the programme for setup database use-case for my project or i am gonna die very badly in the presentation at week 12 , nows week 10 for your information , shes seriously doesnt like me, she got no choice tats y she answer my questions n stuff when i asked her , its not like she willing u know wat i mean yeah

hmm tats all i guess , let me watch some of the anime i missed , haha

2006-01-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

well heres a picture of myself =D
next sunday gonna go to andrew's wedding dinner , lol, aaaa i dunno wat to wear sia but cynthia told me they would be wearing something nice for example her a dress !!! then shu xian some blouse or somehting , aaa , sian , lol , maybe i can wear somehting different eh =D , muz faster ask qi yea liao , lol

well well i finished com skills today man , lol , kinda proud of it cause i promise my teammate i will pass it on her on monday , see i am a man of his words , hehe

finally i find it hard to re-gain something which is lost , yup , kinda hard man , anyway tml muz wake up at 9am , oh gosh let me tell u this it sux when u have been waking up at liek 2pm 3pm for 1 week , lol

i have been having headache these few days...kinda painful man , oh well , i hate to admit it , if ya ever bond wif a girl , will u keep the promise no matter wat and not betray that person ? even if a lot has happen , a lot of feelings has developed ? cant blame he/she for breaking the promise rite ? well i am juz curious tats all , i hope i can see u again tasha , i hope so but i gonna wait for 2-3 years b4 i am settled and have some income to visit u ya ? haha

2-3 years isnt long or short, see , i am juz 7 more weeks to out of poly , think of it , can say it isnt fast or slow , bomb , 2 years has passed , wtf ? i have met surprisingly a lot of ppl , memories were left here n there

sometimes i hope i leave some space inside my friend's minds , lol , sometimes i wish they dun even remember me , juz wat do i want , i do not know man. humans are always very crazy , when u give him too much love , he doesnt want it , when u dun give him love at all ,he wants it , well this is wats happening here , oh shit , i was juz thinking of all my poly friends , lol

when i think of melody , i forgot to buy S.H.E album !!! and S.H.E is coming to singapore , i better get it tml , haha =D

alright i guess , blog till here , think i go dota 2-3 games or something , so will be 3am then i slp =D , hope i can wake up tml and the dun blame me man , i hafen dota for today so let me ba , hahaha , enjoy all u can !!!!!!!!!

2005-12-31T01:01:00.000+08:00

its been a while eh , lol , well right now my bro and my lao ma are having a deep tok , oh well this kinda tok is good once in a long while , its some sort of liek an update to their own life , been thinking that IF i ever become a parent , i will try to follow the traits of my mum and of cos improve it to my style , hey this isnt copying IT assignments ,lol

oh well , isnt this the same , some1 has to set the example , oh well anyway, i wonder why i didnt blog often nowadays , maybe cause i have been busy , christmas n stuff , lol , i shouldnt tok about how i pass christmas n stuff, its now tats important isnt it. ok lets see, well right now all i am concern most is my studies , the same actually , i care about my team's grade , myself rather isnt very important , i dun care about myself , well being kind sure has its own bad or good , i dunno man , i always do stuff for my friends , yeah i know sometimes they lend me their assignments , mayeb tats the way they re-pay me eh ? lol

some ppl realli gam wif me , some juz isnt , dun ask y , i dunno , ask ur feeling...i am juz feeling a little better, lol , hearing a song from the Anime Blood+ , its called => aozora no namida , got time go listen or ask me to send u haha, its been long since i laugh wif my true feelings but its not when i am in class but tis outside in henry's house , lol

i guess i created a betetr bond wif yj , gw , henry , hey thx man , thx to this 3 guys tat i finally finished my ORF assignment but i was late for 1 day but who cares , i did finished it by christmas eva , oh well , lol

2005-12-19T23:48:00.000+08:00

well i realli wish we can sit down and talk..but i guess its impossible given the current situation, this week gonna be a busy week , then after this we are gonna have a 1 week break

so the more impossible its gonna be to talk , lol, cant be helped i guess. i am trying realli hard to feel like its nothing , maybe that will make me look more like a bad guy althought i aint any good, haha

now the more i think, the more confused i am , wad is it i wanna clear up ? wat will we become once we clean everything up ? it will probably turned out to be i am a lazy asshole trying to look cool ? haha , maybe tats wat we will derived

wadever its lost cant be made up since our bond is broken tat easily , lol , maybe i should juz sit down quietly and go wif the flow , well i made friend wif a guy marcus in my class who is so on n steady , lol, he asked me do u cycle ? i said yes , most of the time , then he said tml nite wanna cycle ? then i stun for a moment there , lol, i juz said lets do it...oh well hope we haf fun even thought we juz know each other...

tml nite we are going to cycle together , actually 3 of us , the other guy nai cheng who is very quiet in class and dun normally tok to us, he said on , lol , cool man , lets all do well in presentation and haf fun riding tml nite =D

oh and 1 more , i am afraid i might break down , lol , i have been hearing ppl saying my partner and i haf 1 leg , actualyl most of them do not know wat actually happen , so i cant blame them yet i need them to stop saying things like this, lol cause this will lead me to getting more involved , as u can see , i wanted to escape , i cant reallli face another rejection or something harsh lidat so its better to keep things going as it is now , everything is slow yet painful at times but i can still take it

i realli hate ppl who cant take jokes , but oh well , ppl , dun take things seriously , sometimes its better off relaxing a bit

and its week 7 now , lol , 9 more weeks to end of poly life, i wonder who will leave footprints onto my life after that. 9 more weeks...to end this miserable times, ya i know there are good times , but scars will always be seen instead of happiness which is the recovered wounds.

oh well wadever it is , i am still ok and leave ur names behind , if not juz keep ur comments to urself. hope u understand Sum1...i dun need anoymous reader

2005-12-18T14:25:00.000+08:00

well friday i went to a pub at clark quey , aa dunno how to spell but wadever , went for a drink and almost gg...

but i somehow managed to keep myself awake, i drink some stuff and boom almost good game for me but that last cup pour-ed by pam realli made me wanna die , lol , almost the full cup full of chivas, lucky got evonne help me , lol , she pour 1/4 of the water to her cup , thx man , ah bo i realli faint , viomit and do stuff i cant imagine i will do , hehe

actualyl i was thinking of not getting high at all n take little care of da mao , but hor lol sorry ar i gg first , evonne lor , so high , lol , whole nite chiong drinks wif me

i remember i sent 2 sms, 1 to shu hui , the other to my partner , in the end only 1 replied , lol , " u send to wrong person ah " oh well , haha

sometimes i juz hate myself who only do things he wanna do but afraid of doing and need some additional touch so that he will have the courage to do wat he wish to do , but in the end and the additional touch is strong alcohol...

actually i am ok 1 for the drinks , but after i went to the dance floor , lol , there , gg , after dance floor i game over , my body feel hot, i begin to feel like a loser who has lost his job and cant find a new job and there he is releasing his anger , deluding himself

after dance floor i went to a place nearby and begin to think, i thought of a lot of things and seeing the singapore river's water made me realli wanna viomit , saliva keep flowing out , lol , and i spilt at anywhere but myself, oh well , then i beginning to type out the sms and sent it out , after sending them my head is clear , but once inside the taxi going back home , i begin to feel the "want to viomit but know u cannot viomit de feeling"

thx ar da mao , lol , and sorry i have cause the other ppl so much trouble...

2005-12-13T23:57:00.000+08:00

i cant figure out girls , lol , sometimes , i know she hates me now, but why she still send me her practicals to study for tml's pract test, i wonder why seriously

lol , i stone for 15 mintues as to whether i should ask her why send me ur pract when u hate me seriously i dun understand...recently i feel better when i am alone

ur sense of smell has gone too far, i cant catch up
i used to see the shadow of u, but now empty
i tried to visualize u in my mind, i cant , i have lost the images to start with
i keep on searching, i am lost in the world of my own findings
thinking in future some1 will take good care of u makes me relief

sometimes i will lookup to the sky and questions will juz zoom into my brain , as for the answers i cant find any , lol , random conclusions are juz derived but normally my own wish will nv be realised. its tiring to always put on a good smile, weakness will only be shown normally when ya lonely, haha

but fear not, u can do it =D

2005-12-12T01:05:00.000+08:00

today i fall out wif a friend of mine, at first i didnt consider her to be a friend but as days goes by , seeing each other and telling each other our own problems , we or should i say i begin to treat her as a friend

but as days passby , projects ending , dueing , meeting deadlines , we begin to have disbutes...and finally today , i dun wan to talk to u anything other than work. actually i wanted to tell u this but u told me first , but my reason of telling u tis is different , ur reason might be i aint good enough to be ur friend , as simple as that , my reason , i guess i will have to keep it to myself...

i dunno whether i should be glad or wat , if its the first or 2nd week i will be dead cause ur the only friend i have in the class , but now its different , seems to me u dun get too well wif the project team , how u wish u can change team eh, oh well that isnt gonna happen...have to endure the remaining 10 weeks.

so i hereby anounce that we are not friends and i will respect ur decision, well then i hope all is cool for either side and to peace wif that...women are petty , dun trust their words even if they are convincing , never ever or ya regret it

doesnt mean to end it sad but oh well , listening to the song super mario will make u cheer up , dun be sad for me , i hope every1 out there haf fun and good luck to all the stuff ur gonna do in future cause most likely u wun remember little slenes , lol , after poly everything's gonna change, so chill wif it , friends come n goes , make sure u get that idea rite before u proceed

2005-12-11T17:07:00.000+08:00

it was realli nothing , lol , why does my romance matter to u guys anyway, weird , dont ever ask me about my romance ever again , its not like i got reject often , lol

yeah often is the word...its not often , seldom i guess for now, oh well, tats all , my body arch like every week cause lack of exercise , haha , every week we would of play some sports, this is the best part of my class, but now my class's gossip kinda sux , lol , they all saying me n my partner , oh well , maybe i should keep my mouth shut once and for all

maybe i should juz go with the flow instead of playing rebellious, yeah maybe i should do that. for the class ppl if u happen to see this which isnt gonna happen , pls stop saying me and celine pls pls pls , lol , its nothing really

we know each other before the class start tats why we are often together and stuff and shes the only girl i tok to...i cant possibly tok to shu hui can i ? that isnt right so pls quit this gossip , i aint gonna like it , and for those ppl who care about me , u guys doesnt nid to call me n stuff lidat , i have lost the ability to communciate and maybe i am kinda shy , i juz doesnt want to show everything to u guys , its bad for health, wearing a cap is good for health u should do that...it makes ppl less focus on ya =D

and i feel like quitting school , maybe i feel like quitting poly , comeon , poly is full of fake ppl , hell yeah it is , or should i say a 18 year old guy finally knows how to lie ? welcome to real life i guess... playing wif ppl's mask n stuff , few has shown their true appearance...ppl pushing responsiblity to others then blame each other afterwards...

and i realli hate malays, they dont gain respect from me to respect them, oh well , i cant write this here , i will tio sue , so oh well , i will quit here, pls have some sportsmanship when u guys are playing a game , wadever game it is , pls do have some sportsmanship , its true every1 wanna win , yes , but if u win wif sportsmanship, u will have all respect , even from me , yeah u do , if i lose , i will admit it, if i lose

sometimes i realli wonder do i sux in studies or i juz dont have the brains for it ? , coem on ,realli , some ppl score so well in studies but when it come to gaming , he sux like crap , lol, oh well , especially in a game call DOTA , comeon , it isnt realli that hard right ? if ur a noob juz call it and chill wif it , newb still dare to tok so much crap , online dota singaporean players realli cmi , must be those secondary sch kids , haiz , pls be more mature

and now i am 19 , lol , i always feel old then it comes to gaming , it kinda sux but oh well its a fact , haizzz , sad , we are getting older

2005-12-07T16:17:00.000+08:00

aaa juz woke up after hearing a sms, lol , its about the test !!!

i got 2 test tml so it kinda sux , lol , and i hafen realli studied them , my class very happening 1 , lol , every week play badminton n stuff

this week we play dodge ball , lol , damm tiring lor !!! muz jump aim , focus all those shit , hopefully saturday we can win something back and not be the first 1 to lose, haha

i am handling the little devil inside me pretty well, lol, i tried not to speak as much as possible to u , yup , tats my intention, keep on saying ur fat to remind me i cant be on good terms wif fat ppl , i am a racist / fatist afterall , u can sue me , lol , but writing about fatist isnt a crime i guess XD and i am not putting the person's name that i am writing here so shouldnt be a problem =D

u see the reason why slenes is still single is that hes lazy, has high expectations from / of his future girl, isnt very serious, oh well anyway heres some pictures from saturday , old gang meeting , the girl inside is my best friend's girlfriend haha , pretty isnt it =D , and hardly u can see old gang all present , 7 of us

i like this photo, haha =D

2005-12-01T23:42:00.000+08:00

after some time , i will change the music to a more emotional one =D

i am watching an anime i loved so much , its the first to ever make me drop tears while watching , lol , its call kimi ga nozume eien <= something lidat =D

well i try not to think so much , those useless stuff and i try not to be sad on my birthday ok ? haha which is erm 15 minutes later ? but oh well , i felt super super tired now , my eyes keep closing

but the reason why i didnt sleep is that i hafen realli finish my com skill which is to be hand in tml -_- , lol

and another reason is i cant leave my leader behind to do all the other stuff which she isnt suppose to do , the person in charge of the project report had the report but didnt send to our leader , so win liao , lol

guess later i will to go briefcase n find , maybe she didnt even upload there , haiz , wat a letdown , we hafen even start coding , lol , oh well , my partner = my leader , she realli should join shu hui they all , fuck this , cant they think of others ? even tou my partner not very slim , they oso cannot lidat ma XD

ok gg , gg = good game , it kinda mean ending =D

ok , cya gg

2005-11-30T00:05:00.000+08:00

the presentation sux, lol , oh well , fuck that wadever sia , now i will only do administration job, so i hope i can do a good job of doing a programme to get the data from database1 and from the data there go to database2 and update to our own database, lol which is database3 , sounds chim eh , oh well, i try to do ba =D

and maggot, i am a petty person but i forget things very easily tats why i dun seem to be angry at things, lol , i cant remember wat kinda misunderstandings we got , i forgot le =D so no nid to clear le la , i forgot = clear-ed haha

i still like the kinda feeling of that once every 2 weeks we meet for lunch for like 2 hours, lol , cause will have many many things to discuss XD , i had lunch wif ding yu today and i myself enjoy-ed it , lol , he seems to be enjoying too , we were laughing all the way XD

oh well, tml we gonna play badminton again , i hope tml no meeting, haha so that i can play wif them, i guess the problem wif our project team is that we didnt do a lot of research , we got no idea on what we doing are useful n stuff which is very important , haha, oh well , now they , ah no we are seriously in deep shit after presentation , for now i hope everything seems ok , i went for a nap juz now and dream of shu hui , lol , its a scene of class scenes but i was lazy as usual and i met her 1-1 on the way to school, we make eye-contact and smile , is that a good sign ? as in i am getting over it ? feeling more relieve ? in a way my feeling tells me is that , lol

kinda confuse and for the ppl out there who doesnt mean my msn's nick
it means , "i cant say i love you"
second line means "sorry, i cant do it"
hehe thats the feeling i got and this b.day of mine is like special ? lol , so many ppl celebrating wif me , i am ssooo happy cause i normally stay at home without having my b.day getting noticed, cause its like other ppl other than old gang celebrating ti wif me , lol, kinda special , and its my 3 years in nyp for the first time that i celebrate my b.day wif them XD

now come to think of it , i cant kope wif my studies liao , lol at least 2 modules , advance database and the 3122 monday lesson , lol , which is kinda the most important module , i think this time i muz get good wif the guys in my class liao , so far ok , henry still teach me sia , power ,realli thx to him =D

yong jie too is a great help , lol , oh well , i hope they can send me their work , oh not forgetting guan wei XD

tml i am gonna play badminton wif them =D

2005-11-28T23:51:00.000+08:00

dun u luv project runway , damm nice lor that show , lol , i like the designer jade or somehting his name , hes the hip-pop fashion , a bit fat guy who always wear something on his head , hehe

i realli like his design sia , damm nice , but my favourite will still be the corn dress , zai that 1 , lol

ok now , i nearly break down juz now at around 6-8pm , lol, there this feeling hidden deep inside me ,lol , which i cant release it, but theres somethings i juz cant explain here , oh well wadever tis my blog right ? lol

whenever i helped her or interact wif her , i feel a little small happiness hanging around my heart but when come to think of it, she will only approach u for stuff liek homeworks n stuff project etc etc, then u will feel that hey am i thinking too much , maybe it isnt anything special as in sec sch i often ask other girls for homework, izzit this kinda feeling ? i often asked myself and sometimes drown myself wif it, its kinda confusing sometimes but oh well its the little things u did think of and those things make time kinda pass faster eh , lol

i realli realli realli regreted that i choose BI , should of go to FI or Mobile, lol, oh well been whining for weeks ,lol , nvm let me whine here instead of going out n scold fuck all over the place.

i juz wanna be honest and not be sneaky , u realli dun liek this person yet act as if ur very gam wif him , it sux realli , it realli sux

and of all the thing i must say this , GOOD LCUK TO slenes for tml's presentation !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-11-27T12:30:00.000+08:00

today slenes is kinda sad again , i realli muz focus focus focus on not getting too involved

keep telling myself in my mind that we are only normal friends, the relationship we have is work and not more than that...

i realli shouldnt get into too much , juz a little normal friend's concern i treat it as some special feeling... a little childish eh

so now i will be eating lunch wif my chu lian =D oh well, damm nervous about tuesday , i am kinda lost in my own ideas , lol , shit that

aa lol i forgot to post , oh well nvm

juz now i thought of a realli good idea , lol, power idea for the project , now i damm confident liao , cause i know how to present le and oso come out wif possible questions they marker will shoot , lol

let me write those down before i forgot , and tats all , oh ya if u want a nice song , tell me ok ? its a japanese song btw and damm nice , dun worry cynthia , i will send u IF i see u online , lol

2005-11-26T19:47:00.000+08:00

waa , today's project meeting at my house !!! , lol imagine 3 girls coming to my house and my room is like -_-

so i decided to pack , lol , yes pack !!! , i pack for like 2 hours lor , haizz , then when i tell my mum my friends are coming over , my mum immediately mop the floor , lol , power

its like the cleaniness damm pro , damm clean , the clean-est of all times , this kinda cleaness is only seen at chinese new year , lol

and 1 thing my partner realli like green , lol , oh well at least now i know wat our project is all about liao =D

i dun realli think tats a lot of a good project worth doing , oh well , i juz want to pass all my module then lala i can GG liao , lol , gg = good game , hehe

ok so now , i am slacking like crazy , lol , yong jie told me that we dec babies finally got some1 to help us celebrate our b.day , lol , well i kinda agree wif him tou , sadly , so if next time my wife gonna have baby , i hope he/she is born any month except june or dec or jan , lol , april is good =D

ok tats all then , i nida rest my head , i think i didnt sleep well cause i got flu becuz of the dusk , lol , too clean liao la XD

2005-11-23T01:27:00.000+08:00

i am dreaming in this pic XD

muz type chio bu ah bo will get wack XD

they are only 14-16 yrs old , lol, look so mature !!! ,i look like japanese eh =p

well then tats all for now XD
some1 asked me to put my partner's picture in it. oh well i noly got 1 thing to say , i cant get her picture , lol , if u want , maybe can go friendster see for urself , lol tat is if ya that curious , ask me for directions i am lead u to her pic , lol and shes availiable XD , help her adverstise a bit , LOL

2005-11-20T10:11:00.000+08:00

first , its a really nice day to spent the 1 full day wif my friends , haha =D
its jason's b.dayand theres 2 chalet , 1 for jason's damm good friends and 1 for our class , so its 2 in 1 , lol

i brought something realli nice , haha , oreo biscuits inside put wasabi paste , for the first few i put A LOT OF WASABI paste then after a while i go smell the tip of the wasabi paste tube , wow i wanted to faint , lol, maybe cause i only slept for 2 hours that morning , then after that i oso scare my classmates cannot take it, so i juz put a LITTLE , lol , but in the chalet , i ate 1 and felt the power of the A LOT 1 , so sway...

jason got the a lot 1 oso , lol, his reaction , WASABI !!! , lol , it was a damm nice picture. then after shox took the WASABI he pause his game and went to the toilet , lol...

wats my reaction u guys asked , MINE WAS , in my mind "OMG SHIT , WHY SO SWAY TIO THE LOTS 1" then i quickly went the to frigde and drank some of melody's ice tea , lol , but i didnt touch the tip ar , haha ,so dun get jealous alien.

ok now , i got nothing to do and feast on a fish cooked by some1 , lol , maybe by jason not sure , i added chilli and damm it tasted good , lol

i start getting bored and saw ah zu, dave , tabacoo playing fist game , losers drink , lol

i played afew rounds and drink a little but after alien came in and tabacco sitting next to me , i start to lose a lot , lol , and drink bit by bit...

drink drink drink , my stomach started to feel like it was burning , lol , then i started to feel realli hungry , i start to eat a little and start my losing spree , sway , haiz , in the end some of us went to buy some stuff in the 7-11 , car drove by stella , eh i dunno who but is fenni's friend , hehe , thx for the ride =D

oh b4 the drinking , i smash a plate of cake onto jason (dave's idea) , after i smash him i walk straight like nothing then jason thought it was dave and they beign theri murdurous chase , lol , lucky that wasnt me i was thinking abck then when i saw them run killing each oither like nothing , lol

then dave a bit bei song , he started to rape me , lol , there i got it from my hair to my pants , zzz , down to my slipper , lol , SWAY !!!!

ok where was i , lol

oh ok , 7-11 , after we got back we drink a little then went for a bicycle ride to mac , hehe , then i start to feel a little head pain pain , stomach wanna vomit , hehe , then i must thx ding yu , fenni , juan , ying for taking care of me , special thx to ding yu and fenni.

i talked a lot , now i know how it feels like to be drunk and talked a lot of what happen which is hidden in the heart , a lot !!! almost all , but some told me to keep quiet and not talk about all these , haha

then we went to bedok jetty , i was quite ok but beginning to feel tired. i slept on 1 of the stone bench , i lost it all then after a while i kena awake by some violent guy who shock my hand and give me a fucking wake up hit , lol , i needed that actually ah bo i cant wake up 1 , haiz

then i walk a 2 sitter bicycle lead by ah zu , then GG , realli good game i cant move my leg that fast , lol , he ride too fast liao then hor very unstable , VERY !!! i felt like i almost hit the green rubbish bin along the jetty , haha , then my leg oso a bit cramp , then i call it a gg and changed to a single sit bicycle, after that i WAS VERY AWAKE , lol , believe me i was awake , very , after feeling how stupid i was for talking to others wif my little feelings kept inside me for like 4 months ?

i felt like i was very stupid yeah very , very very very stupid slenes , i will stop feeling stupid , sad for u , its over i hereby declare ON MY BLOG , ITS OVER , slenes is free from the nightmare...slenes will begin his chase for his love again.

ding yu and me had a good time going back home oso , lol =D
if i got a chance , i will still drink and talk out my xin shi( problem kept )
actually i am kinda feeling to be alone , dun marry but i guess my mum de last wish is to see us all settle down wif children...

oh well , see thats another problem , lol. oh well , i can get hit again i think , cause the last time i was serious , cause in the previous relationship i wasnt VERY serious , oh well who cares its over already

2005-11-18T00:39:00.000+08:00

this is killing me , lol , i think i need to escape yeah , its getting deeper , i cant help but fall into it , haiz , its like an endless pit whereby no matter how deep u fall , u will never reach the bottom of the heart

sometimes i hate myself for being useless , yeah and thx swirlyeyes and dvd for making my day , lol , juz happen to see u guys in south =D

cause i am gonna meet my project team , i kinda cant mix wif them well , lol , aaaa i dunno or izzit i try not to mix wif them ? oh well crap , i still got lots of things hafen do , lol

hafen pack bag for chalet , wth , haiz wadever , let me play 1 gg then go bed...

2005-11-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

its hard for me to fall in love again, lol

althought i am forgetting the past, but i notice somethings in my dreams , it keep poping up , lol, a girl whose always there for me yeah , lol

i know i cant fall for her , i juz know that , but somehow somehow bit by bit i am falling, but i should continue to keep it a secret till that 1 day i cant hold on to it , lol

starting of project , qi yea cynthia we are all always saying the things happening around us recently and they notice there is always that 1 person i will always complain about , lol and then they will begin to tease me n stuff , its this kinda comments that lead u to having an unique feeling when u see that person , haha

rumours sometimes tend to bring them together , qi yea is 1 i know , lol , remember that saturday when we OT together, yeah i will always remember NCS and those people who have leave traces of footprints in my heart.

whenever ya falling in luv there are always somethings there to stop u, or should i say , i always find soemthing to stop myself , lol , yup

its realli very bad when some1 make used of u and thus create this friendship , they doesnt wanna know u , they are juz making use of u somehow they give u the impression that ur a very good friend to them. hehe

oh well i guess i will still keep this little secret inside my heart , i am always silent cause i still like to be quiet and keeping a low profile , its this kinda attitude that makes me a little problematic , but oh well its juz keeping quiet so i dun realli care.

anyway i like thursday class , lol , looking forward to tml's lesson even though i will be having problem fidning some1 to eat wif , lol , cause ying they all will be ahving break at 1pm , mi at 12 haha, oh well, maybe i will go find ding yu or something , it juz sux being alone when it comes to eating , for other stuff its cool actually for me

i still wanna remind myself that its tough to keep the feeling within my little heart , but it will be regretful if i am gonna be honest to myself so wadever it is , i hope i am able to control myself and not let any1 learn that...i am falling , anyway its hard to fall in luv wif a girl who doesnt have good impression of u , when it gets long it will be a 1 sided luv , if the 1 sided luv delay-ed for a long time it will make that person become worried , becoming very supucious , aa dunno how to spell , lol , hua yi in chinese over the slightest thing , haha

ok now my mind is filled with memories, good ones =D , i know i might sound sick but pls tell me those words like we are not meant to be , we are impossible , we can only be friends , better friends than lovers , i muz see these words then i will give up or maybe add water to lemonade so that the sourness decrease n then loses its sour taste , yup , its better this way , aaa its been a while since i tasted the nice aroma of the rose , 4 years ?

lol , seems like slenes has grown a little in terms of thinking, yeah i sure do, i am those kind of people who make new friends as i go out but normally dun keep them, its like unless we meet each other once per week or something or our friendship realli will become not as good , tats why whenever i met my old friends on the street or something i always do catch up and reflect how have u been and stuff or chat about the recent issues , lol

and now i am wondering how many friends will i be left wif after poly , lol , oh well , let me play a game or 2 , then do tutorial then sleep =D

looking forward to tml lesson and gonna prepare for friday's chalet surprise , hope they will like the surprise and not hate me for that =D

well then , cya all , call me for lunch ya ? lol =p

2005-11-14T22:55:00.000+08:00

oh well i woke up this early , lol , and it sux , but oh well we managed to finish the NS checkup at around 1 plus then we went to had lunch and have a good talk , joke

actually sometimes its good to know a new friend , his name if kenny my best friend's friend XD , haha , hes a funny yet cool guy , yeah

oh and if i knew that i will be back at school by 4.45pm i wouldnt have come , haiz , its cause that mr adrian see never reply my e-mail so i thought it would be better to go down in person and tell him the reason , nabei then kena suan , fuck lor , haiz

and got some notes from my partner , thx ar , lol , in future pls take care of me , yoroshiku =D

now i duno whether i should wait for ym favourite anime suzuka to dl finish cause it might take another 80 minutes , if i were to wait now it would be around 1am till bedtime , lol

and i got a project meeting ok so now i dunno what to do , lol , in fact i realli dunno what to discuss about and what to do in the project cause i nv go for tutorial , aa it sux to miss monday class even though it sux.

i take friendships for granted , lol , cause i the those kinda people who goes to friends for helps instead of trying on my own, if i aint got problem then i will not see them , but oh well , if my friends stay near me then we can go home together but too bad none of my new classmates are going

oh ya this friday got a chalet from jason , lol , he nv invite me so i aint sure whether i am welcome or soemthing but i realli shouldnt think so much as fenni , juan they all ask me to go

i promise i will be there , lol , and oh ya sunday i happen to pass the supermarket and saw some interesting thing , lol , cause this i think will be the last chalet wif my old class dudes so i guess i will have somehting up my sleeve but the budge wise isnt very cool , so i might ask some of u guys =D ,if ya interested tell me , only for DIT0301 , haha , i need another 2-3 people , if 2 people , nid to give me $2-3 , if 3 people , then nid to give me $1-2 , hehe

ok now , INTERESTED tell me ar , and ying not allowed =p haha , ok then cya
oh wait nono , I HATE GAYS ,to all those who hafen go NS checkup , pls beware of the guy in the photo studio there , BECAREFUL

2005-11-13T14:22:00.000+08:00

being alone juz isnt right but somehow in my heart i wanna be lonely , sicne i cant click wif people in my class now , or yet ?

haha , but anyway , i dunno why whetehr i get sad , i get realli sad , and then i recvoer liek damm fast , lol

oh well nowadays i am struck wif a sore throat , kinda suxy cause mtl i got NS checkup , woot , lol

oh yeah and tuesday me and some of my classmates gonna play badminton , 1 of them is a coach , woot o.O , eyes big liao =D

its time to put my skills to test but then juz now my partner said they might be a project meeting on tuesday , lol , wahahhaha , siao liao , dunno man

if it is then that will be the first time we sit down togetehr and discuss as a team , lol , but they VB students , waa , siao liao

hope they are not that hopeless when it coems to programming. After i blog the last entries , many people came and ask me how am i , waa , feel kidna touched , oh well , actually very touched , lol

but i still wanna keep my feelings to myself, well most of them, i feel so idiot when i block some of my classmates , lol , in msn i mean , oh well i added them back liao

oh and jay zhou wrote a song to scold those gou zai dui =D , ncie 1
sian , i muz go cut hair liao , haha

and my partner rebond hair wor , lol , dunno chio or not , monday then go see =D
take care all my friends =D

2005-11-10T22:55:00.000+08:00

i feel super lonely , but lucky i still have some friends , lol

yup tats right my class friends are back , haha

they realli good to me man , now that in my new BI class i dun haf a single good hang out friends and i know i never will

i guess i will hang out wif them , i reall ican laugh wif them , its different from the others , i agree wif my best friend , i treat others too good , making them happy behaving like a clown that he has lost the sense that he is actually sad himself but when the clown feels sad, he no longer know how to exprss his saddness even to his close ones

i realli hate this class , i know i have to depend on myself , i have to learn to eat lunch myself , i am no longer that person who has many friends around him during breaks. ok dunno why i am feeling VERY VERY moody now

it juz aint right , am i having depression ??? , ok lets start this shit all over again

ok now , i feel very lonely in class , maybe its cause i want to be lonely , i hate my classmates , i feel so helpless , now i have to eat lunch alone cause not everytime friends will accompany me to eat, eat alone in poly realli sux , u can ask me to ride , study , sleep alone , but not eat, i dun feel like talking to any1 in my class , but in the evil side of me , i can make use of them , like in class if i never come or wat shit can ask them for notes or something , nid help in programming can still ask them , so i have to wear a fake mask in order to survive in this new class ???

ah anyway my partner promise me not to come to my blog le, she very big mouth XD , ok now i cant possible tell her all my problems, cause if i do that , it will somehow affect her, the way she treat the people in the class , i sure dun want her to like always be wif me then lidat her relationship wif the other classmates will be not as close if u know wat i mean , i always tok to ying when i got problems but she isnt online , in this poly only a few ppl treat me like their xiao didi , aaa fuck this , i cant blog , chatting wif fenni =D

thx man , come to think of it , i shouldnt whine so much , a clown muz always be happy !!!! THATS THE RULE

2005-11-09T00:52:00.000+08:00

i am suffering , so many problems and stuff to conclude , school problems , never did i expect my partner to coem yo my blog , OMG

so here , hi partner XD , hehe

ok anyway i cant explain problems here cuz maybe some of the people except my partner comes here then see = i die liao

here now i muz thx cynthia for being there for me especially at this time of the day.

ah guan wei sms me that tml is e tutorial , lol , does that mean no nid to go sch ?
and anyway tml is lab , not tutorial , lol , ok holy shit

so wat am i suppose to do now , if mtl i go , no lession , means i got 5 hours of free time , lol

oh well hack it , lol , i am gonna stay quiet and keep a low profile in the new class , not that i can click wif all of the people , but some , those dota dudes XD

and nov a lot of my friends birthday , lol , siao liao

i seriously hate monday now , that module i realli dun quite know how to do the practicals , lol , siao sia , like doing english exams which i sux a lot in , haizz

really wanted to go to internet mobile when qi yea asked me to , lol

somemore only a few girls in my new class can "see" , so ke lian , haizzzzz

ok la end of story , i cant afford to be late , still nid to eat breakfast then jog then slack a while then meet cynthia to lunch then go NE , lol tats my plan for tml

i think everything will be solved by itself well i hope , lol

2005-11-07T02:11:00.000+08:00

waiting is like getting poison-ed, unless she gives me the antidote , or i will not wait , hehe

sleeping is a problem now , i wake up everyday at 2pm , lol , but sch gonna start later at 9am, oh dear , means 8.15am die die muz go out of house prepared

and now its 2.30am , lol , should i go to bed or wat , omg

i got a feeling i am gonna hate my new classmates , cuz 75% i know liao , hope the 25% are nice people , lol

if chio bu even better =D , juz 1 is enough ,no nid too many , lol

oh well i juz feel that i am gonna hate my classmates , lol , wadever la , later 9am then see for myself, haf fun in sch =p

2005-11-04T23:22:00.000+08:00

went back to sch to buy notes, lol , hardworking eh thx to my last partner , lol

oh well anyway i met a few of my classmates , we had a nice time together , cya guys on monday lunch , its been half a year since we met...

unexpected i met the girl i used to like, i seriously thought that after the holidays i will get over it , lol , never did i expect i fail to do so, oh well , maybe this time i realli give my true heart , oh well but hey we shouldnt force something , some things cant be forced...

but i met ws and the guy who like her helped them buy note so i ran all the way from amc to printing shop , lol , thx , and i didnt have to que up , lol , yeah , lucky ass , i am 1

my partner was suppose to go wif them to buy notes , never did i expect her to buy her notes alone, if shes going alone , why didnt she tell me , lol , oh well

here i got a problem , maybe i can share wif u guys , ok heres the situation

u fail in love , after 1 few weeks ,u met something u dunno , total stranger to u but u guys spent 3 days of fun together , had a great time, when ur wif her , u didnt think of ur previous love.

1: will u stay in contact wif the girl u spent time wif for 3 days
2: will u stay await for the revpious love and continue to pursuit
3: will u stick to urself n rest for a while

tough eh, been thinking for a while now , so wat will u do slenes and wat advise will u ya u guys give to slenes, 2 days mroe to sch , enjoy the time u have got...

2005-10-31T18:10:00.000+08:00

lately nothing realli interesting happen except for 1 very very i dunno howto explain thing happen to me

ok here we go , 1 day i was riding like a cheap ass dude , riding riding riding ,i dunno where my destination , i juz ride liek nobody's business thinking that its holiday and my mum went on a trip to thailand

it happen on thursday last thursday, i was at paris park , lol , i wonder how i am there , i wanted to juz call my auntie and asked if i could stay over there but i decide to visit the sea and feel the breeze.

and somehow without sleeping for like 1 1/2 day , well all i did are stop by those 24 hours kopitam , met a few ex-classmates , chat a bit n stuff and in the end i ended up at the bridge between esplande and the merlion, there sitting at 1 of the benches.

i helped a foreign group of girls take a group photo, and boom i got a kiss on my cheek , and i hafen bath for 1 1/2 day, oh how i wonder how she felt about it , mayeb she did regret, lol

i asked them where they came from, from oregon , and i wonder where that was , lol , she said its in the US , oh well, maybe 1 of the town i guess , then we chat a little about things like why she came here n stuff , oh well.

in the end we exchanged address and contact.

conclusion => i help a group of girls took a group photo and got a kiss on the cheek from tasha and shes 15 already at a height of from then 160 i think , maybe 163-166cm

i got a kiss , OMFG , damm it, its been like wat ? 4 years since i got a kiss from a girl lol , i dunno whether i should be happy or wat, oh dear , so in the end i stun for a while , say gd bye as they had to leave, i went back home STRAIGHT AWAY, lol, i dunno wat to do man, all i could think of is sleep and wtf , omg in my head , nothing else

ok now i got my results , ipp=A , fyp=B+ , lol
i dunno why and how i scored so well , i realli didnt expect , thx lawrence tham for the b+ , i told him to give my partner an A cuz she deserved it, and i said i dont care about my grades , maybe becuz of that my partner got an A and me a B+ , or maybe my partner realli did deserved an A , lol, oh well , wadever hope she doesnt see this , lol

oh and my gpa increased by 0.2 , lol , i told myself wtf , i always answered this question , "hey wats ur gpa" i would answer 2.6 lor, now i can changed my answer to 2.8 , lol, anyway results isnt very important to me , unlike my partner last time in fyp , she cares about grades a lot !!! different people has different values in life i think, as long as ya happy then its cool , sometimes i juz wanna get out of studies and do wat i like but my mum will not accept it , so studying is like a stepping stone to my dreams , i love to tok to people , socialise , let them have a good time so all of this aspects lead me to tourism , i think i can be into the service-industry better , but wadever job i do , i give my 100%. maybe tats why i got an A for ipp , lol. i have been playing some games and foudn out that more n more people young ones are playing games , lol , i felt like an old dude now.
12 , 13 , 14 , 15 playing the same game as me , lol ya i definitly felt that I AM OLD ALREADY.

oh well 1 more week to school , lol but 13 more weeks to graduation , lol , time realli flies, hope that all things willl end nicely.
school ends the same way as some friendships, maybe someday we will cross path with each other somewhere in the city yet do not recognise each other...

everytime i coem to this blog i felt sadness filling over me, i dunno why , lol , oh ya heres to sum1 , i know my friends are still on but i cant approach them , i cant let them see the sad , weak slenes , becuz i saw my best friend anger , sadness , confusion last last sunday , i felt sad and nothing i could do , hes got family problems , well i tried to help but there are somethings that an outsider juz cant be of much help.

oh ya been watching anime like suzuka , paradise kiss , wow it was nice , lol , u guys should go watch it , for now its dinner time i guess , i sure hope tasha has a wonderful time here , lol, hope to chat wif u next time i guess , cuz the time is really killing me , i have to wake up at 8am to chat wif her, and its 4pm there when its 8am here , so its kinda killing me , this reminds me of lene a girl from canada , oh well i better not tok about it , i have never told any1 about it , about the girl name lene.

and slenes come from the girl name lene, aa i better not continue, i should keep it a secret , my only secret in my whole entire life , play hard guys , scholl gonna star in a weeks time.

2005-10-16T02:52:00.000+08:00

the dream that cant be realized

the doubts that wun resolved

the self that cant throw everything away

the days that wun give answers

i will...

go along my life believing the thing that day i searched for but i couldnt find , someday for sure , yeah for sure it will .....

2005-10-12T02:02:00.000+08:00

pain, its nothing but pain...forcing myself to not love u, yeah , i still cant get over it, everytime i think of u , i would forced myself to get over it

i cant love u no more, there is no right or wrong in love...i respect ur decision, but i just cant get over it , i dunno why...

deep in the night ,2am, i can only hear the voice of rejection and the sound of the running cpu...all i could think of is you and me nothing else, glazing at the moon , reflecting the past the happy hours , whenever i see the happy screens i would forced myself to remember the things u said to me...

many asked if i am ok , how haf u been , i cant answer them, all i could tell was a white lie saying "yea, i am ok, haha" but that wasnt how i felt, i used to felt this "I just don't give a good god damn anymore about how I feel. I feel unhappy, so what? I'll get over it, I always do"

i take back these words...i feel sad, empty, cold...

i dun wanna be alone anymore , being lonely will only make me think more of u and i dun want that , i dun wanna pressure u no more , stress u , acting pitiful...i should stop acting childish being foolish, treating care & concern for love. tats wats i always do yea always , cuz i am that myself, i juz hope the study sem will be over soon...along wif the sad memories nyp has given me

2005-10-06T02:45:00.000+08:00

aa hafen blog for a long time i guess , lol , well enough of my little story , love life i guess , every experience is a step into maturity....its a tough road i know

i have thought of it clearly, i will wait for "love" n not pursue it. ya tats right...actually i am a weak person who cant afford to lose too many times...its bad for health.

anyway i juz watched a show on channel U. i agree the fact tat a cert of study is important but i dun really think its useless , but if the social thinks its important then wat will happen to those talented ppl who aint got a cert ? wun they have no job or like they said always be an office boy wif juz an "O" lvl cert or "A" ?

now nobody give a damm about "N" lvl and juz fuck ITE, so wat now , government is encouraging us that ITE isnt all that bad and the social dun give a damm about them ?

ok now , this is lame, 1 more problem discussed is that some ppl study blindly , they only study wats in the book and not why is it lidat bah bah , these ppl got a nice cert but actually they aint very good at working on the actual thing , they are only good at studies, so now, wtf will happen for those talented ones ?

ok its hard to imagine..so for now , get a cert and live wif it, cert is juz a paper wif open some doors of opponunity and nothing more , what really will get u to those big positions are ur mind set , attitude, talent and some other shits...

alright then , gotta rot my life away in this holiday, hope u can retrieve a not yet decayed slenes...

2005-09-28T19:56:00.000+08:00

the waves of the ocean called "love" has pushed me back to the land

there , you are sitting right beside me

here , i am thinking the few happy screens

damm , the screens turned ugly

no , i cant forget it

yes , its hard to accept it

slenes , pls try ur very best to forget u once enter the ocean called "love"

2005-09-26T22:04:00.000+08:00

seriously i need to get this idea "she dun like me at all" stuck inside my brain... you dun wanna get rejected twice do u ? love nids 2 players to be in it, look slenes , she already told u she like some1 else , why dont u juz believe her n settle wif it ?

yea man i know its hard but hey this is happening here now in FYP , i cant seem to concentrate now , my appetide for food has decreased , i cant finish my food most of the time, but this is different from NCS

this time theres my partner who would nag at me, telling me to do this n that, tats why i am not classified as "unproductive". oh well good luck to my buddy qi yea in his presentation later this week , kinda worried about him thou , but its useless , i cant even console myself , moreover help him , oh well , i am juz useless

i realli juz hope i can get over it soon , looking forward to the holidays cuz i wun be seeing u for 1 month , maybe i will forget about u , well maybe...but i will try

2005-09-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

i told myself to give it up , let it go, i cant...

stupid right ? we can only be friends , but i guess the love i let out cant be kept back by me in such a short time

i know its hard but i muz force myself to give up , someday eventually i will give up , i will try... all i can do...

Until the music end , so will the love...

2005-09-19T01:01:00.000+08:00

well the reason is tat 4 of us will eat lunch together , but the 3 girls will always be together n i will walk behind alone

she thinks i am lonely n she accompany me , n i am stupid enough to take tat pity as she is interested in me too , lol

stupid me eh , oh well , wats gone is gone ba

anyway presentation tml...good luck ba =)

btw sorry partner i let out my little demon inside mi out , sorry

been drinking too much beer i guess , nowadays go sch head a bit down , lol
sembawang park seems a good place to cool ur head i guess

2005-09-17T13:30:00.000+08:00

i still cant face her , i cant and dunno how , i stopped looking at her , stopped all eye contact...

maybe shes avoiding any needed talk wif me , i dun blame her , dun ever pity ppl n let them have a wrong idea as in how u feel , tats all i gotta say